Thursday, August 07, 2008

What Sucks…Quick Hits: Detroit, Rush Limbaugh, Cannibal/ Head Chopping Off Bus Riders, Exxon, Anthrax Guy Who Killed Himself


…Detroit

Say what you will about the Earth’s shitholes (Newark, East St. Louis, that area outside of Rio where City of God took place) at least their sitting mayors are not in jail. If the weather were nicer, San Andreas could sue the entire city for copyright infringement.




…Rush Limbaugh Buying the Rams

You think the Rams’ offense is conservative now, wait till this guy takes over and instead of running on 3rd and long, they’ll come out against gay marriage! (Author stands and bows. Thank you, thank you all so very much.)




…People Who Decapitate And Eat The People Next To Them On The Bus


By the way, this has only made long distance travel on a bus SLIGHTLY worse than it is normally- was the guy who lost his head sitting near the bathroom? If so, NO ONE deserves that.



…Exxon

I know its fashionable to dump on these guys for making record profits as the rest of us get butt-raped at the pump but come on, aren’t they just trying to put food on their tables...that are made of solid gold and elephant tusks?



…Anthrax Guy Who Killed Himself

What a bastard- and don’t think I missed his final F-you to us- leaving a suicide note- who’s gonna open it?! Also, why he go to all the trouble to OD on various drugs when he could have just dropped himself a self addressed stamped envelope?

3 comments:

Mike Marsh said...

I was discussing the bus beheading with a coworker today. Greyhound decided to pull their "There's a reason you've never heard of 'bus rage'" (or something like that) ad campaign. I think the reason why attacks like this are so rare is that riding the bus for long hauls is so soul-crushing that you don't have the psychological energy to become enraged. Their new slogan should be, "It's not so bad once you're dead inside." The photo would be of dead-eyed people half-slumped in their seats, all staring vacantly forward, dressed in heavy wool coats (hats optional), and shot in black and white.

Alternatively, they could embrace the publicity and go with, "[replaceable number] days cannibalism-free!"

Anonymous said...

like the 2nd idea.
i don't know what's the greyhound or the njt bus- freaks on both

frenchtoast said...

Nice to see Detroit manages to stay in the news more then Gary Indiana, even with a higher rate of homicides!