Wednesday, August 13, 2008

What Sucks…Mirrors!


Mirrors! Oh my god- help me- I’m scared shitless! Mirrors!!!

Mirrors!!!!!

When I saw the preview for this like most of you, I thought "Shit, Hollywood has finally run out of original ideas that don't involve putting Dane Cook in film." Then I found out Mirrors is a re-make of a Korean film, so turns out Hollywood has only run out of ideas for recycling other, already done ideas.

By the way, you really want to be scared Hollywood, whoever green-lit this thing, should take a look in the mirror! Yes, hey new Siskel and Ebert guys- I’m available! How’s this one for you- whoever green-lit this thing is looking at 7 years bad luck! Or this- things in shown this movie are suckier than they appear! All right, I can’t keep giving this stuff away.

By the way, my favorite part of the trailer is when Kiefer Sutherland yells at a mirror, then touches it, and the mirror cracks, causing him to yell. It’s one of the few times in the preview he’s not whispering by the way. What happened to that guy, he’s like the new Danny Glover! (I had to watch the last two Lethal Weapon films with the friggin closed captioning on to even know he has any dialogue. I hated reading that he was too old for that shit by the way, it really took the dramatic sting out of it.)

Incidentally, I should say I have never seen the original Korean film it is based on- however I have no doubt its scary. I’m sure it involves a part where a dude looks into a mirror and sees an Asian person staring back and I challenge anyone not to be scared of that crap-

“Whoa! I’m not Asian! What the hell!?!!! (RAISING FIST) Mirrors!!!”

Kidding!

On a personal note, this film does well it’s nothing but good news for my recent screenplay “Tweezers!” I got the idea when my wife left our medicine cabinet open. It’s really gonna be great. When I get home, I’m gonna demand she knock over her purse-

“This fall…one man will look for some change, and he’ll find it. Change, that is. Wallet.”

I’ll call you when I’m a huge screen-writing legend. I’ll have a pool party and you can come, let's just not make it a sausage fest.

4 comments:

Walking Spanish said...

can i bring some brats then instead of sausage?

Darkly said...

I'll bring the Tofu Pups.

Darkly said...

P.S. sausage is the most disgusting euphemism for the male anatomy ever.

Aramael said...

I'm probably the world's biggest wuss, but trailers like this scare the crap out of me. I think I would have a heart attack if I saw the whole thing.

I do, however, think it's great that 24 has started experimenting a little.