Tuesday, July 22, 2008

What Sucks…Offices In Frats


First off, I should state I wasn’t in a frat. When I was in college I had to go out and earn all my date rapes all by myself. There was no formal, college-sanctioned body to help me out. I did not have someone encouraging a girl to do a keg-stand 15 feet from my bedroom. So naturally, I’m not a huge fan of frats, but I will admit they do provide alcohol for young college girls and that allows them to lose the inhibitions put on them by society and religion and thus make it seem okay for them to kiss each other in public, often on dance floors, so I will respectfully acknowledge the good work they do.

That being said- I don’t get offices in frats.

I’ll give you “President”. I suppose the frat needs a face- someone to talk to the police, someone to decide if girls will be encouraged to drink grain alcohol or just straight out be given roofies when a vote is taken in the frat and there is a tie. But isn’t every other office in a frat overkill? What does the VP of a frat do? Can’t the President also be the Treasurer? And the worst, what the fuck does a frat need a “secretary” for? Is their correspondence going on? Is someone recording the “minutes” while the dude down the hall pukes on his balls because he drank too much?

What's gonna happen? Someone’s gonna walk into his office and be like "Take a letter...”

July 22, 2008

Bob "Fitzy" Fitzsimmons.
University of Nevada Las Vegas

Fitzy:

Dude, what the fuck? Dude, I was so hammered. Dude. I was hammered. Dude. Duuuuuude. Dude.

In closing, bitches.

Yours in Christ,

Smitty

P.S. Enclosure: a moose head with panties on his horns.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I did a keg stand 15 feet away from you DeLuca--when we were in LBI--REMEMBER? BTW--fun night Thursday. Thanks.

Me.