Tuesday, July 08, 2008

What Sucks…According to Jim

No truth to the rumor that when I get home late and realize I haven’t posted yet I throw up a clip of “According To Jim”, but come on, let’s face it, this show sucks- to use the parlance of our time- “serious monkey dick”.

Take this particular clip. So much wrong here, but I’d like to shine the retard spotlight if I could on Jim. Seriously, watch the clip – it’s only a 1:19- I’ll wait. Watch it? Good…

Who the fuck opens potato chips like that? What the fuck is wrong with that guy? Is he having a stroke? I know violent retards who are not allowed to handle kittens unsupervised because they don’t know their own retard strength who have more social grace. Someone taze that asshole. Sloth from The Goonies acts more human.

According to Jim, assholes are allowed to crush potato chip bags and pour them into bowls. By the way- if he’s such a “man” what’s he eating out of a bowl for? Use the bag, you fucking douchenut.

And what’s with the rest of that mongoloid family? Where’d the grow up- in that town from The Hills Have Eyes? That poor sonnavabitch son can’t pour a glass of milk, and the monkey daughter is left to climb on the kitchen cabinets and throw a plant to the ground. Somewhere Nell is signing “Dude, who raised you?”

And nice touch having the mom walk into the scene at the end and grab a bottle of booze. Get used to it whore, alcohol is your only respite- but then again, you married Jim, so its hard to have any sympathy for you.

What a piece of shit this show is- seriously- I tried to TIVO it the other day and my DVR said "you're shitting me, right?"

According to Jim
is on Tuesdays at 8!


Frank Gibson said...

I almost referenced According to Jim as the pinnacle of suckage in a comic strip that will post next Sunday, but at the last minute I changed the reference to the fact that they are currently filming a FIFTH "Saw" movie. Saw 1-4 apparently were not enough.

Olivier said...

I was afraid I might laugh while watching this at work. Now I hope they did not hear my soul being crushed.

Anonymous said...

2 and a half men also contains an obscene amount of suckage

Anonymous said...

LOL!!!! That's all I have to say!!!! LOL!!!!

Mike Marsh said...

I could see a kid that age have trouble pouring a full gallon of milk. And if anyone deserves a swig from the ol' wine bottle, it's that Stepford Wifeservant. (Seriously, who gets that much satisfaction out of cleaning the kitchen? No context in the world could justify that.) The rest of them? Well, apparently that 2% DNA difference between us and the great apes can sometimes mutate just enough to make them look vaguely human.

Oh, and that mutation also apparently makes them retarded apes.

Teko said...

LOL douchenut nice one

Anonymous said...

Each one of those kids needs a hard slap in the head. WTF are they just leaving their messes for. I'd be in hot water if I pulled that crap when I was a kid. Morons.