Monday, June 02, 2008

What Sucks...Sharon Stone

Last week Sharon Stone speculated to a reporter in Cannes, that perhaps the recent earthquake in China was sort of a karmic payback for the way China treats her buddy, the Dalai Lama and his fellow Tibetans.

I know what you’re saying- Sharon Stone? In Cannes? Was there a “Vadge-Showing Film Festival” or something? Well, no, there wasn’t. I don’t know what she was doing in Cannes, perhaps she was looking for financing for a “Vadge-Showing Film Festival”. I’ll have to do more research before I can say for sure. Back to her statement.

Now, there are a lot of things wrong here. First of all, on an obvious level, Sharon Stone is of course, wrong and thusly an idiot. She has since apologized for the whole thing, but I don’t think that will really make a difference- I don’t forgive her, and I’m not even Chinese. I wonder how she feels- literally 1.3 billion people think she’s a dick.

But pulling back the layers of the “Suck-Onion” or “Suck-yun”™ I can’t help but point out that like the many people who use the “karma reasoning” approach to explain bad things, she either doesn’t know what karma is, or thinks karma is very dumb.

Here’s what I mean- IF karma dictated that China should finally suffer after oppressing Tibet for so long, and unleashed a horrible earthquake on it, why would it strike out against innocent Chinese civilians and not the Chinese government who are responsible the policies against the Dalai Lama? Is karma a lose cannon? When did karma get such shitty aim?

The answer is, of course that karma had nothing to do with it. Just like the a-holes who purported that 9-11 happened because G-d was mad at homosexuals, so he took out the financial center of the city while passing over about 4 different gay hot-spots, these people are not only ignorant, they’re REALLY ignorant.

Just once I’d like to see this “Karma Retribution” idea be on the money. IE, someone says something like “America’s tolerance for the gay lifestyle has brought on national disaster TBD!” And then they leave their house and are run over buy a Miata. Or have one of its most flamboyant cities flattened by a huri…nevermind.

Authors note: Sorry I’m a little late on this one- it happened last week, but I couldn’t comment on it as I was getting my privates cleaned.


j said...

Great minds think alike--Adam Carolla was on the "wrong people died in china" and "Sharon Stone's nuts" thing today too.

Or, are you now writing for him? He owes you royalties if not.

Dave said...

Sharon Stone was quite correct about the earthquake being caused by China's bad karma as a nation. Burma also has plenty has plenty of bad karma.

See more info on group karma at

Anonymous said...

your sick dave.