Wednesday, June 11, 2008

What Sucks…Red Tomatoes

Great. Now I have to worry about dying after eating a tomato? Awesome. Last year it was spinach, now tomatoes- it’s only by the grace of God that these vegetables haven’t realized that by combing forces they can kill us all.

Think about it, they don’t even need all the vegetables to get in line- basically, they’re just two veggies away! If corn and lettuce sign up- that’s it. That’s fucking it- we’re all dead.

What a shitty way to die by the way- croaking after eating a tomato. What do you say at the wake? It’s very awkward- it kind of throws a big damper on the whole, “Well, I guess when your number is up, it’s up…” line of thinking.

Really? It was my time? I thought it was just my time to eat a tomato.

I guess the only thing you can say is “I guess he’s in a better place right now.”

Yeah, a place where a tomato doesn’t kill you.

So often life imitates art.

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