Tuesday, June 24, 2008
What Sucks…Celine Dion
Like fascism, suckage, unchecked, will advance steadily across territory and space, consuming everything in its path. Its unyielding expansion must be met head on and defeated at every turn. If not, you will have what we had in the early part of WW2, or what neo-cons thought we’d have if we didn’t stop Saddam Hussein or what we’re having now as Celine Dion thinks it’s okay to cover AC/DC in her concerts.
Yesterday Total Guitar Magazine named Celine’s take on “You Shook Me All Night Long”, worst cover ever. Sadly however, as the song was first performed by Celine 6 years ago at some VH1 Divas Live show (I’m just finding out about this right now) the damage may have already been done. Alas, just because something took place 6 years ago, and sucked, doesn’t mean it can’t be discussed, therefore…
Why was this allowed to happen? Look at the clip on YouTube- there appears to be a crowd there who are cheering her on. Are these the same people who (Spoiler Alert!) cheered for Nicholas Cage to be burned at the end of Wicker Man? This clip is an abomination in the eyes of God!
Celine Dion is a very skinny woman with a very large, round head. From distance she looks like an alien. Also, she is married to a dude who is really, really old, who knew her when she was 12. And, on top of that, she’s Canadian. Her doing a cover of “Shook Me All Night Long” never should have been allowed. In order to cover that song, someone should have had to in fact shake you all night long, there’s no way the septuagenarian Celine Dion married shakes anything all night long, unless of course you count his privates during the 12 to 14 times per night he gets up to pee.
Canada has a lot to answer for musically- Bryan Adams, Nickelback and the weird looking Rush (relax, I've seen them 3 times myself) and now this.