Wednesday, June 25, 2008

What Sucks…Anne Hathaway


This dude? WTF?

No credit to Anne Hathaway this morning for dating some dude named “Raffaello Follieri” (sounds like the bad guy in LA Confidential) who was busted yesterday by the feds for fraud, thus entering Hathaway into the pantheon of noted hot chicks who date douchebags.

Don’t get me wrong- I’m all for criminals dating hot chicks. Some guy steals 60 cars in one night he deserves a hot girlfriend- “Angelina Jolie hot” as a matter of fact, but this guy was busted for essentially telling millionaires that he had connections in the Catholic Church and could hook them up with properties the Church was looking to “flip”.

That’s it. Fraud involving the idea of flipping properties. That’s the guy who gets Anne Hathaway? I don’t expect her to be single for long by the way- before you know it she’ll be jumping into the sack with some dude who is known to Jaywalk.

Follieri apparently hired two priests to dress up to make it look like he had connections deep into the Vatican and of course, “collapsed in the custody of US Marshals”, (read: fainted) when the judge announced his bail would be 21 million dollars. Cops pulled him out of his Trump Tower apartment at 6 in the morning yesterday and good thing they did too- I heard the Mystery Machine were about an inch away from blowing the whole thing wide open.

What a weak-ass crime. Anne Hathaway let this dude see her naked and the best he can do on a “bad-ass” scale is come up with some hair-brained scheme to steal money from millionaires who thought he had a connection to the Vatican? That shit is weak when you consider what your average guy would be willing to do- I know dudes with families who’d gladly knock over a gas station and kill everyone in there to get with her. I personally will kill the guy who immediately makes my iced tea when he sees me walk into the Dunkin Donuts near my job every morning just for her to say hey to me and smile. (Just kidding dude, in case you’re reading- the place has free wi-fi.)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anne Hathaway is naked in the movie Havoc

Anonymous said...

Hathaway and I hooked up once. Seriously. What? Why don't you believe me?

B to the...

Chus said...

This is what I think: Anne Hathaway Scandal