Thursday, May 15, 2008

What Sucks…Airlines: UPDATED!

WTF is going on with airlines? Every time you read about one, they’re going broke, the service sucks, they’re constantly late, the ride is “the guy in front of me’s head resting on my junk” cramped and now they’re making dudes sit in the bathroom for a cross country trips.

Nasty, nasty, NASTY. I don’t even want to go into the bathroom on an airplane when I have to go. Seriously, debate occurs in my mind about which will be more pleasant- pantsing it up poo-poo style, or going into that stinky, smelly, germ-Woodstock at the back of the plane. Sure, I end up getting up, but these decisions aren’t the “no-brainers” you think they are.

Airlines suck. Big time. The fact that they’re all going bankrupt pisses me off too. How can these a-holes not be making any money? You sell seats in a machine that flies! How could you lose money on selling miracles? Shame on you!

Think about it, we’ve all had horrible experiences on flights, but short of crashing, I bet someone can always beat your “shitty flying experience” story.

Once I was stuck on a runway for 4 hours…

…oh really, you can beat it? 10 hours? Wow.

Once the airline lost my bag…

…oh really, you can beat it? Lost 2 bags? Three? Lost your pet?

The only way to get a seat with any leg room at all is to promise them that in the event of a crash, you’ll pitch in and help everyone out.

These douchenuts went from having a pretty girl welcome you, hand you a pillow, a blanket, and a drink, to you being happy if you land somewhere within 3 hours of the time they said you would. They fly planes that don’t pass inspection and they’re planes are old as hell. I once reached into the pocket in front of me, and on the cover of the Sky Mall was a CD player- what the hell is that?

F these a-holes.

UPDATED: What the F is this?

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