Friday, April 25, 2008

What Sucks…Quick Hits: Star Jones’ Marriage, Dancing With The Stars, Red Vines, Rev. Wright, Amy Winehouse

…Star Jones’ Marriage

If these two lovebirds can’t make it, what does that mean for the rest of the women out there married to gay guys? The lesson to be learned here is clear- when you get gastric bypass surgery you always have to make sure they don’t also take out your “gaydar”. I know, I know- there’s no excuse for Star not knowing- I heard they first met at some other guy’s dick.

…Anyone Eliminated From “Dancing With The Stars” Before This Week

I admittedly don’t watch this show because I don’t like to be lied to by a show’s title (I love Lost by the way), but hey Monica Seles, Steve Guttenberg, Priscilla Presley and anyone else who was eliminated before this week- you suck! You were eliminated before Marlee Matlin was and she’s deaf. Can’t wait till you go on painting for the stars (I’m pitching it) and lose to Andrea Bocelli. (He’s blind.)

…Red Vines and Other Twizzler Knock Offs

Give it up, Redvines, you’ll never be Twizzlers. Lazy Sunday references aside, you suck! The licorice wars are over, Twizzlers win. What the hell is a “Redvine” anyway? Just go right to hell, you whores!

…People Still Pissed About Rev. Wright

Enough already! He said some things- he was/ is pissed. What, we’re NOT a racist country? We didn’t allow an African American to play major league baseball until 1947- and that’s a game!

...Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse was in a fight where she allegedly head-butted someone and was arrested for assault. What’s worse, the image above is the before picture.

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