Monday, April 14, 2008

What Sucks…Paradise By The Go Phone Light

What, I don’t hear this song enough when it’s played by lonely women at whatever bar I’m in that happens to have it on the jukebox? I gotta listen to it now in commercials? And a bastardized version of it too?

How much money can Meat Loaf make off of crap? Is he the all-time leader in “Making Money Off Of Crap”, music division? The guy is listed under something on his WIKI page called “Wagnerian Rock” (clearly someone in his family needs to protest edit his page or something) for Christakes! Don’t know much about his career? Here’s a quick little refresher-

- He was in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

- He did Bat Out Of Hell which featured “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”, “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad”, “You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth” and other assorted turds you are tortured with when they are played at bars.

- He did Bat Out Of Hell 2, which had “I’d Do Anything For You But I Won’t Do That” on it.

- He had tits in “Fight Club”. Huge ones.

By the way, that’s the great Tiffany walking in half way through holding a leg of lamb. She has a bigger part in the extended version. Poor her. Tiffany, if you’re googling yourself one day and come across this, you are a beautiful and sensitive woman, you don’t have to play Meat Loaf’s wife in the extended version of a phone commercial as matter of fact, the way life has treated you, you don’t have to do anything now- just marry some old, rich European dude and live off his money- for anyone interested, here’s Tiffany’s version of this blog- (AS ALWAYS CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE AND ENJOY THE FUNNIES!)

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