Monday, April 21, 2008

What Sucks...Body Sushi: Perv Watch V.19


In Whatsucksblog.com’s continuing series on pervs who have a lot of money, (scroll down for the joke about the guy who paid 1.5 million for the Marilyn Monroe sex tape) today we look at the dude (usually some Wall Street A-hole) who pays $150 bucks (on the low end) to eat sushi off a woman’s naked body in a practice widely known as “Body Sushi”.

Now, not to generalize, but let’s face it, the Japanese are pervs. Don’t believe me, google “Japanese Game Shows” and “Naked Woman In A Pig Pen” and you get, well, more hits than you should. Also, they’re pretty much insane- click here. And here. And, well, just do the search yourself.

The reason I bring them up, Body Sushi came from them. Out there it’s called “Nyotaimori” but no matter what you call it, it begs on a few questions, like…

Question 1: How hard up for a woman’s naked body are you when you can’t wait till AFTER you eat sushi to go to a strip club and see a woman’s naked body? Sushi is expensive as it is, but shelling out a buck-fifty before you even get to order your Dragon Roll is insane. $150 dollar will go a long way in a strip club (ten, maybe fifteen minutes), and you’re just gonna throw it out there on someone you can eat a California roll off of? What a perv! Eroticism should never involve Spicy Tuna!

Question 2, and sorry if this sounds similar to question #1 but, who orders a maki-combo and says to themselves, “this would be better if I had wood.” Who?

Question 3, where do you put the Wasabi? That stuff, placed on the wrong part of the body can be deadly.

Sorry to be so harsh on the Japanese, but you don’t really see other cultures doing this with their food. I’m Italian, but I have never had, nor am I interested in “Body Chicken Parmesan”. I have many Irish friends, but never have any of them expressed any desire for “Body Corned Beef” and this isn’t even an Asian thing, as a google search for “Body Moo Shoo Chicken” reveals zero hits.

Hey pervs, eat Sushi off dishes, not people!

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