Thursday, March 06, 2008

What Sucks…“What Happens In Vegas”

Why don’t Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher just split the money?

Is this movie about two of the most selfish people to ever walk the face of the earth? How is 1.5 million dollars of found money (3 million split evenly) not enough for these pigs? That’s more money than most people will ever make in their lives- and these assholes made it after a night of drunk sex, by dropping a quarter into a slot machine. No wonder Cameron Diaz was dumped by the "vastly less-good looking than her" Jason Sudeikis at the beginning of the trailer. No wonder Ashton Kutcher is fired from his job by his dad! How do these two people have such attractive/ loveable loser type friends respectively? What happens in the rest of this film? Do they burn down an orphanage?

By the way, nothing depicted in this trailer would ever happen.

Girls who look like Cameron Diaz don’t get dumped by guys who look like Jason Sudeikis.
Guys who’s dads own the company don’t get fired by their dads. And their dads don’t say things to them like “Jack, you’re like a son to me.”
No one gets an idea to in a bar, while someone else is simultaneously getting the same idea, in this case, to go to Vegas, alone.
No one slides down a bar like that, takes that nasty a spill, and then gets right up.
No way this couple would ever just not split the money.
No judge sentences people to stay married.
No one would pee in a sink like that.
No one falls in love with their wife AFTER they get married.
No one would sleep with a toilet seat like that and if a woman used a toilet, without checking to see if the seat was down, it wouldn’t cause a splash that loud unless their toilet was a pool.


Ben said...

I think Ashton Kutcher is hilarious.

Spiegs said...

Dude, you stole this from the Onion.

Chris DeLuca said...

what sucks...the hater!

this movie is so bad it has people shitting on it in the same way. look out Media Yenta!

at least someone is reading!

onewayeyes said...

i've peed in a sink like that.

Chris DeLuca said...

On dishes, onewayeyes? On DISHES?!!