Monday, March 03, 2008

What Sucks…Quick Hits: Some Crap I Have To Catch Up On- Simon Cowell, The Grammy’s, Hillary V. Obama, The Knicks, “Girlilicious”

…“Pre-Final 24” American Idol

What’s with “Nice Simon”? We already have a Paula- we don’t need one who can pass a DWI test. Is someone holding his daughter hostage or something? What’s this “You’re not right for this competition” crap? I don’t watch Idol for that- I want my “Your voice just gave me ear cancer!” Or a “No wonder your parents gave you up for adoption! Oh, I’m sorry, you didn’t know?” Loose the restraint and start making people cry, or better yet, attempt suicide!

…The Grammy’s

The Grammy’s wouldn’t let Amy Winehouse perform unless she covered up the boobs on one of her tattoos. That’s the thing she had to change? What was that phone call like?

GRAMMY PRODUCER: Yeah, hi Amy, love the crack video, and the missing were dead for how long? Cool. Listen- are there cartoon tits on your arm? What kind of operation do you think we’re running here!?

…Hillary’s Fall

A small part of me feels bad for Hillary. She’s getting steamrolled by Obama at every turn I think people just identify her in a certain way, 1st lady for all those years- I just think she just reminds people too much of a wife. It hurts when it comes to voting for her.

…Yeah, I’d have a female President…my wife? No. No. No fucking way. Her first official act banning the Family Guy- we’d lose all the cable stations we don’t watch- the NBA playoffs will be rapped up in one week- she’d announce an investigation into internet porn and the clearing of your browser’s's a bad idea.

I think Obama and Hillary have pretty much the same policies, I just think Hillary wants to bust your balls more.

…The Knicks

It’s now officially challenging to express how much the Knicks suck. To properly express it, you have to really extend a lot of energy. I’d try, but what’s in it for me? It doesn’t seem like it would make a difference. In New York, people don’t talk about it anymore. So little has been done to fix the Knicks, people are resigned to having them suck. In a way, Isiah Thomas is winning. The Knicks really, really suck. Fans are being hassled for booing Isiah at the Garden, players are snipping at each other on the bus and even Eddy Curry is openly questions the team’s effort. When Eddy Curry, notices that the effort is lacking, that’s not a good sign.

…The Pussy Cat Dolls Present “Girlilicious”

In all honesty, I really can’t figure out whether the point of this show is to stay on or get voted off. We may have a reality show here where getting kicked off it is of greater benefit that staying on it. If you get bounced from The Pussy Cat Dolls Present: “Girlilicious”, you DON’T become a Pussycat Doll. That’s a good thing. You DON’T have to hang out with other girls trying to be Pussycat Dolls. That’s a good thing. You DON’T have to learn to be a stripper who lip synchs, and you can go and get on with your life, maybe go back to high school or marry that rich, older guy you’ve been putting off. If you win, you become a Pussycat Doll- what’s the absolute best that can come of that? Only being a Pussycat Doll for a short time? See, if you lose, really, you win.

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