Wednesday, March 19, 2008

What Sucks…Quick Hits: Radiohead, Kristen Davis Sex-Tape, Paul McCartney, Ashley “Kristen” Dupre


First Radiohead wants us to come up with a price we’d pay for their album- now they want us to make a video for them- hey Radiohead- do your own work! What’s next, I get to set up Phil Selway’s drum-kit? You want me to do something for you? Let me suggest you make an album with guitars! I’m sick of convincing my friends you guys are brilliant. Why do you hate album sales so much?!

…Kristen Davis Sex-Tape

I hope this does not exist. Not because I want to spare Kristen Davis any embarrassment, I just don’t want to see the first ever sex-tape/ chick-flick. What happens at the end, the guy finishes on her tits and then goes back to his wife? This has to be awful.

…Kristen Davis Sex-Tape (If It’s Fake)

There are pictures out there of Kristen Davis, or someone who looks like Kristen Davis, ah, hmm, how do I put this, sucking a dick. Here’s the thing- people are speaking up for Kristen Davis and saying the pictures and the tapes are fake. Say they are fake, that would mean someone found a girl who looked like Kristen Davis, convinced her to get naked and perform sexual acts which then may or may not have been recorded. Why? To capitalize on the small niche out there who would be interested in seeing Charlotte from Sex & The City “get it” from someone? How specific do fetishes get?

…Paul McCartney

Well, it’s more like it sucks to BE him, at least this week. First he had to drop major coin on Heather Mills for being his wife for 4 years- 50 million, then he had to watch his songs get absolutely butchered for the second consecutive week on American Idol. What those kids did to those songs are the equivalent of musical snuff.

…Ashley Alexandra Dupre

Says a lot when someone is on record as a teenage runaway from the Jersey Shore who turns out to be a hooker and only begins to skeeve people out when it’s revealed she made a video with Joe Francis. Yuck.

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