Tuesday, March 18, 2008

What Sucks…Quick Hits: The Incredible Amount of Governor Sex That’s Apparently Going On, The Press, Newspaper Headline Writers- Perv Watch V.18

…The Press

Stay out of the sex lives of our governors! This guy is African American and blind and your headline is STILL about who he’s boinked in the past? Enough! I think you have enough of a storyline here without having to “go there”, and by “there” I mean a legally blind, African American’s privates, pervs.

…Ex-Gov’s and Their Wives

Dear Dina Matos McGreevey, (wife of Jim “I’m A Gay American” McGreevey, a governor who once used gayness to distract from corruption)

You can’t go around sympathizing with the wife of a Governor who’s husband loves hookers if you, yourself were involved in 3-ways between you, your soon to be Governor husband, and his “boy toy”, can you? What do you possibly say for comfort?

DINA MATOS MCGREEVEY: Silda, this is awful, I totally know what you’re going through. It’s hell, the secrecy, the expensive hotels…

SILDA SPITZER: Thank you Dina, I appreciate it…

DINA: The picking out of the “boy toy”, seriously- asking yourself- do I get it from my gay husband first, or his gay lover first? It’s so taxing.

SILDA SPITZER: Yeah, ah… (LONG AWKWARD MOMENT GOES BY) You know, I think I’d like to go someplace less awkward, like say next to my husband at a podium.

Yes Dina Matos McGreevey, want to know how rough it was for Silda Spitzer? Think of your situation, then take away the dude you had a three-way with, unlike you- she had no one to fall back on for comfort.

By the way, NY Post, the term “boy-toy” should never appear on the front page of a newspaper. Keep it in the back in the classified ads where it belongs.

…New York Newspaper Headline Writers

Let’s face it, we live in the golden age of pervy, governor related, headline puns. Take a look above- (click to enlarge) it’s the salad days for this kind of shit. Even the venerable NY Times had to get into the act.

That being said...

…New York Newspaper Headline Writers Part II

This is today’s output. Come on, this dude is BLIND, he’s had numerous affairs, AND he announces it today, his 2nd day as Governor, and this is the best you can do? I knew you used up everything you had last week- shame on you- it’s gotten so bad, you’ve sunk to a place where your headlines are actually reporting the news!

Where’s “After Short-Sighted Affair, Gov End-visions A Smooth Transition”?

Or “Out Of Mind, Out Of Sight- Gov. Admits Affairs”

I’d even settle for “That’s Not My Wife: Gov Admits Impaired Judgment In Affair”

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