Wednesday, March 19, 2008

What Sucks…American Idol


Put Paul on suicide watch. Jesus. Is it possible to vote all these a-holes off?

Who saw American Idol two weeks ago and said- yeah, let’s do a second week of Beatles songs? Was it to settle some sick bet whether or not someone named Ramiele Malubay could butcher TWO Beatles tunes? The answer is yes, she can. Big time. George, John and Ringo are spinning in their graves (Ringo sleeps in a grave by the way).

Look-it, I’m not comfortable devoting this blog to American Idol any more than you are reading it, but I’m also here to call out sucking, so, when man’s most evil, highest rated television creation tries to destroy man’s most glorious creation (the music of the Beatles) you can’t sit on the sidelines. Someone took one of those Peter Frampton “voice box” things to “Day Tripper” for Christ sakes!

People, young people chose tunes like “Yesterday” and “Michelle”. My grade school band (I was in the woodwinds) turned that shit down for more edgy stuff. Fuck that- can we do Taxman? Dear Prudence? (We toured for a summer with Physical Graffiti, the Zeppelin cover band- awesome summer.)

Last night was a disgrace. I’m pretty sure one contestant mentioned that they were choosing a song based on the title. The title?! Like they never heard it before. I could see that during Peter Noone week, but this is the Beatles, you like music, you should have a decent working knowledge of them, where is Kristy Lee Cook from, that town in Footloose?! The worst part is the crappy job she did doing that tune was an improvement, mainly because she didn’t use any banjos.

Jason Castro didn’t even know part of “Michelle” was in French. Anyone who’s listened to the Beatles knows that. What is he smoking weed to at school? And I sincerely hope Michael Johns doesn’t get voted out after trying to do “A Day In The Life”, because next week I really want to see him do Rush’s 2112. Jesus, pick a longer, more complicated song and try and sandwich it into 90 seconds. And I know it was your deceased friend’s favorite song, but I think he may have been okay with you doing “Help” or something.

I don’t even want to talk about what Chikezie did- or the girl who tried to turn “Back In The USSR” into a southern rock tune. Or that that Brooke girl thought it was cool to dress up like a sun, to sing “Here Comes The Sun”.

Watch one of these a-holes get voted off tonight! American Idol airs at 9 PM Tuesday and Wednesdays on FOX!

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