Monday, March 10, 2008

What Sucks Breaking News…Guy Who Loved Hookers, Governed Over Hooker Lovers

Dateline New York. Governor Eliot Spitzer today addressed the media and publicly apologized to his family for being involved with hookers.

The apology came as a shock to constituents, a large number of whom have been involved with hookers themselves, with still many more actually being hookers. As of now, what the governor will do next is not entirely known.

“Obviously, there are people in New York who have never been with a hooker. Old ladies, some soccer moms, nuns…” said one prominent New York politician, “…but are there more of them than there are people who have been with hookers, or hookers themselves? In New York? That’s something I guess we’ll find out as this story develops.”

“I wish him luck.” said a prostitute interviewed for this piece. “He was truly the ‘hooker’s governor’”.

Spitzer wouldn’t take any questions at his press briefing, but sources close to NY’s top executive say they wouldn’t be surprised to see the Governor remain at his post. “There are a lot of hookers in New York, and these hookers do not exist in a vacuum. It will be interesting to see what public reaction to this is.”

1 comment:

Mike Marsh said...

What sucks even more: In CNN's coverage of this story, they included the fun little tidbit that Spitzer (which has to be the name for one of the alleged acts he allegedly paid for) was nicknamed "Eliot Ness" after the character from the crime drama "The Untouchables." They have removed this slander against the legendary T-Man's existence, though there is no correction posted noting their error. With this kind of reporting from our "respected" news sources, pretty soon American children will be as bad as British children in distinguishing significant figures of our nation's history from fictional characters.