Wednesday, February 20, 2008
What Sucks News…ABC Announces New Dancing With the Stars Lineup, Takes Even More Liberty With Term “Stars”
ABC today announced the lineup for their most recent edition of Dancing With The Stars, a cast containing surprisingly few stars even by Dancing With The Stars standards.
Among the celebrities an outrageous amount of people will tune in to watch dance are, Penn from Penn & Teller, Adam Corolla and, I shit you not, Steve Guttenberg, star of the films Cocoon and Short Circuit (Number Five is Alive).
The show will also feature former Tennis star Monica Seles, Olympic Champion Kristi Yamaguchi and standout Miami Dolphin defensive end Jason Taylor thus continuing its tradition of booking complete losers except when it comes to athletes.
Rounding out the cast, Elvis’ ex-wife and one time 14-year old girlfriend, Priscilla Presley and Marlee Matlin, who is deaf. Presley, who is 62, told Entertainment Tonight she will not dance to Elvis songs, nor will be wearing any skimpy outfits, a statement considered very tough to take by Elvis obsessed pervs.
DWTS, which is in its 6th season, has in the past featured such stars as Joey Fatone, Drew Lachey, Laila Ali, and I’m not sure but I think, Joseph Alois Ratzinger, Tucker Carlson and Tidla Swinton.
Sources close to the production say that if this season goes as well as past ones, producers will probably do a spin off called “Dancing With Ordinary People”.
ABC announced their newest cast, in the form of something called “Dancecenter”, a Sportscenter type program they aired in the middle of Dancewar, hosted by Kenny Mayne, Lisa Rina and Jerry Rice, arguably the greatest wide receiver in NFL history, who must owe money all over town.