Saturday, January 26, 2008

What Sucks…Glass Joe


Worst.
Boxer.
Ever.

Am I right? Look, sometimes on this blog I have to take a tough stance. I have to say the ugly truth that no one wants to hear. Like the time I came out against the Zack Braff film “The Last Kiss” when compared to “Network”, or when I called bullshit on “The Mama’s Family DVD” or when I say this…Ronald Reagan wasn’t that cool! (Seriously, check it out- that time wasn’t as cool as you may remember it. He was kind of a shitty President.)

Anyway, this is one of those times- just look at the numbers…

1 Win
199 Losses

And that doesn’t take into consideration the countless time he was pnw3d by me- many times with him not landing a blow. This guy was and is the worst boxer of all time. Looking back, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised- he was 58 years old and from France. The question is, how’d the hell did he win one fight? Who’d he beat? “Osteogenesis Imperfecta Joe”? (Think Sam Jackson in “Unbreakable”).



You know what I’m saying? This dude couldn’t beat Mohammed Ali now! Three of his losses came against punching bags. He’s been knocked to the canvas more times than Tina Turner when Ike was on that whole portrait painting kick. (Anything? No? Okay, I’m sure all your favorite blogs will write Glass Joe jokes for you.)

Look, I don’t want my video game to be ultra challenging all the time, but they should be able to beat Abigail Breslin in a fight.

Oh and by the way, an underrated thing in Punch Out, on your way to the title, you have to beat a series of racial stereotypes. Piston Honda? Come on. Soda Popinski? That’s not supposed to be a bottle of Vodka in his hand? Who are you fooling?



Sucked as a boxer.

1 comment:

gabrus said...

take that glass joe!


next up dig dug