Monday, January 28, 2008

What Sucks…America’s Movie Goers This Weekend

Above are the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place finishers in weekend box office hauls. Now let me take a moment to dispel a few myths that may be floating around out there.

MYTH: “You Can Get Hepatitis C From Opening A Book.”

- Not true. Not even if the book is about Hep C.

MYTH: “‘Meet The Spartans’ Is Based On A Novel By John Updike.”

- Again, no. Not true at all.

MYTH: “Watching Films Like “Meet The Spartans”, “The Chipmunks” And “27 Dresses” Makes You A Better Lover.”

- There is no evidence to support this whatsoever.

MYTH: “You Can Go Blind From Watching A Movie That Has Plot, Character Development And Dialogue That Makes Sense.”

- Once again, no. No one has ever gone blind from watching a film with plot, character or sensible dialogue.

MYTH: “There Is A Special Message At The End Of Meet The Spartans’ Credits, That If You Stay And Read In The Theater, Will Give You A Really, Really Amazing Orgasm.”

- Not true . (That is “How She Move”).

Look, I know pickings are slim and I’m not telling you to go see or rent a foreign film or something but, come on- “Meet The Spartans”? Really? Have you ALL seen “There Will Be Blood” already? And I know the top three grossing films will never include “The Diving Bell And The Butterfly”- nor should they but “Meet The Spartans”? Come on America- you're a little better than that. Or maybe not. But still.


gabrus said...

take that 'Meet the Spartans'

Anonymous said...

People that write for "Best Week Ever" should not throw stones.

Anonymous said...

dude u suck the movie is hysterical, 300 gets so boring after the first time u see it and now i cant even watch 300 without laughing my ass off thinking about how meet the spartans was clowning so hard on 300