Monday, January 28, 2008

What Sucks…America’s Movie Goers This Weekend


Above are the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place finishers in weekend box office hauls. Now let me take a moment to dispel a few myths that may be floating around out there.

MYTH: “You Can Get Hepatitis C From Opening A Book.”

- Not true. Not even if the book is about Hep C.

MYTH: “‘Meet The Spartans’ Is Based On A Novel By John Updike.”

- Again, no. Not true at all.

MYTH: “Watching Films Like “Meet The Spartans”, “The Chipmunks” And “27 Dresses” Makes You A Better Lover.”

- There is no evidence to support this whatsoever.

MYTH: “You Can Go Blind From Watching A Movie That Has Plot, Character Development And Dialogue That Makes Sense.”

- Once again, no. No one has ever gone blind from watching a film with plot, character or sensible dialogue.

MYTH: “There Is A Special Message At The End Of Meet The Spartans’ Credits, That If You Stay And Read In The Theater, Will Give You A Really, Really Amazing Orgasm.”

- Not true . (That is “How She Move”).

Look, I know pickings are slim and I’m not telling you to go see or rent a foreign film or something but, come on- “Meet The Spartans”? Really? Have you ALL seen “There Will Be Blood” already? And I know the top three grossing films will never include “The Diving Bell And The Butterfly”- nor should they but “Meet The Spartans”? Come on America- you're a little better than that. Or maybe not. But still.

3 comments:

gabrus said...

take that 'Meet the Spartans'

Anonymous said...

People that write for "Best Week Ever" should not throw stones.

Anonymous said...

dude u suck the movie is hysterical, 300 gets so boring after the first time u see it and now i cant even watch 300 without laughing my ass off thinking about how meet the spartans was clowning so hard on 300