Wednesday, November 07, 2007

What Sucks…I’m At A Loss For Words: Tyra Banks- Perv Watch V.14

There is so much wrong with this I feel like I should apologize for something even though I know in my heart and mind I did nothing wrong. I mean look at this clip- there are puppets, there are supermodels, retards, this is a tidal wave of suck. I don’t know where to start.

Apparently Tyra today talked to a bunch of women who did not know they had vaginas.

At least that’s what I think happened. All I saw was this clip- I didn’t see the rest of the show. I have no idea if Tyra started off the show pulling a gun out and telling the crew to roll tape cause she “had a lot on her fucking mind and needed to fucking think”. I don’t know if she finally cracked and pulled a Howard Beale from Network and just left the fucking reservation- I don’t know what the hell is going on here. I just know there is Tyra, she’s holding an adult, chubby white woman and next to her, on a bar stool, is a woman with a vagina puppet.

First off, are they’re women out there who don’t know about their vaginas? Because I seriously, can’t imagine a guy out there who doesn’t know about his dick. Guy animals know about their dicks. Maybe women are like that, I don’t know. Seriously, if that is the case, if there are women out there who don’t know about their privates…I don’t know how to finish this sentence.

At about the 2:49 mark of the above clip, this woman pulls out a vagina puppet. Now, again, I didn’t know there were vagina puppets, but apparently there are. If you work at a company that makes vagina puppets…if you own that company, and those things are sold for non-porn reasons…I don’t know how to finish this sentence.

Here are some random quotes that take place in here…

2:39 (After she has taken her vagina puppet out) …it’s a little silly because we don’t really have velvet and satin and little flowers down there, so when you do look down there, don’t be surprised if you don’t find this…

1:43 (When the perv with the puppet is describing that women have different labia, Tyra jumps in with) …It’s like faces are different and that can be different for women as well.

1:15 Tyra points out that a lot of women think that you “pee and have a baby from the same hole.”

Do women really think that? Are women secretly retarded?

Finally, who is this white woman Tyra is holding as she goes on this insane tirade? My first guess is she’s a hostage. Is she? Cause my second guess is, she’s a retard. Is she? The audience has that vibe going that says "If we were all in Chechnya the Russian army would be in here in 5 minutes and we’d all be dead.”

How does something like this happen? How does a woman break out a gun and hold an entire TV studio audience hostage as she goes on and on about her vag?


Jenna Darkly said...

I in fact do have velvet, satin and little flowers down there. I'm just special I guess.

Anonymousfornow said...

I have a vagina stuffy on my bed.