Thursday, September 27, 2007

What Sucks…Indian Burns


There’s not much to say here, grabbing my forearm with two hands, and twisting in opposite directions so that my arm is left with a burning sensation and two red marks, sucks big time and for doing it, you’re an ass.

Additionally, if you are the type of person who is watching someone getting an Indian burn, and you’re laughing because you think it’s funny, well, the rest of us just don’t get the joke. My arm is red now- and there is a burning sensation- what’s so funny?

I’m not sure about the origin of the Indian Burn or when the first one occurred, and a sincerely hope it was not the first response of the Native Americans to the white man’s encroachment on their land. If they were, it would have been an obvious mistake and would shed new light on the many battles between the two peoples.

INT. TEEPEE POWHATAN INDIAN COMPOUND. NIGHT

TRIBAL LEADERS MEET TO DISCUSS WHAT IS HAPPENING.

NATIVE AMERICAN 1: …with all due respect, the white man poses a serious threat and I think our tribal leader needs to reevaluate our response to them.

TRIBAL LEADER: …I understand your concerns. But I think a program of sneaking into their camp, grabbing their forearms and twisting our hands in opposite directions should serve to show them we mean business.

NATIVE AMERICAN 1: No. I disagree. It’s just going to piss them off! These people are aggressive! This will not send the message we want…

TRIBAL LEADER: …then we will come back the next night, wet our fingers and put them in their ears!

NATIVE AMERICAN: No! We need to use our tomahawks to cut the skin off of their heads!

TRIBAL LEADER: I have spoken on this matter. It is decided.

(sorry about the image, I couldn't find a photo of an Indian Burn and by the time I gave my wife one, I forgot I didn't have a digital camera)

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