Wednesday, September 05, 2007

What Sucks...Doritos Collisions



Let’s get one thing straight, for most of our lives there were a few things we could all count on. Of course, most of those things have either let us down, or gone away but the one thing we could always still believe in was that there would be no way Doritos would ever have the balls to put TWO different flavors in one bag.

It just doesn’t make sense. Plus, they just wouldn’t have the stones. I mean, to take two similar tasting Doritos flavors, and put them in the same bag. No. No way. NO FUCKING WAY. IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! AND THEY JUST DON’T HAVE THE GRAPES!

And if they DID, they’d never be able to come up with a campaign successful enough to name it.

Well, take a look at the image above- click it if you have to see it enlarged- and realize the following…

Up is down…
Wrong is right…
Night is day…
And Doritos now have two flavors in one bag.

Say hello to Doritos “Collisions”. There are fucking Doritos in there, colliding!

ZESTY TACO DORITO: Whoa, hey- look out- get out of the way!

CHIPOTLE RANCH DORITO: YOU get out of the way- there’s too little room in this bag- we’re gonna collide!

I don’t know what to say. I mean it’s fucked up. Is everything okay over at the Doritos corporation? Does anyone know anyone over there? Could someone call?

This seems like a panic move, are they going bankrupt?

Did the regular president of Doritos die and leave the company to a crazy person? Did he lose the company in a poker game to his archenemy who is determined to cause the company to lose everything it’s built?

Could someone call over there or something? They have flavors colliding in their bag!

6 comments:

Variant E said...

I don't think Allstate covers this type of collision.

Ben said...

I, for one, can not believe the Doritos people had the chestnuts to pull a stunt like this. I'm sorry, but that takes some serious marbles.

Anonymous said...

Ben's right. Those guys have brass ones.

frenchtoast said...

Ranks up there with the Oreo Pizza at Domino's

Anonymous said...

I for one think that this is an idea who's time has come. Visionary marketing has always met with skeptics at the start, yet often goes on to make billions. There are scientists working, as I write, on a method of combining 46 fake foods into a consumable the size of a shoe. Mr. Dorito is on the leading edge as I see it.

Not from the Marketing Dept.,

Just a Real Person that is not from Marketing

Anonymous said...

i like them! especially the zesty taco and chipotle ranch! yummy! :)