Wednesday, September 26, 2007

What Sucks…Breaking: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad- Coming Off Like a Serious Dick


What an asshole.

2 days after repeatedly being made to look like a dick at Columbia University, and one day after standing at the UN and saying America has an “obedience to Satan”, international experts are ready to agree that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is coming off like a “major dick” in his trip to the US.

Added one world affair analyst, "Yeah, if he was coming here to charm us all, and be all 'charismatic' ah, I don't see it."

In addition, officials are also saying they are relatively confident that even at this moment, Ahmadinejad’s foreign trip planner, public relations representative and joke writer are working around the clock to come up with some “serious shit” to tell the President as to how his poor publicity is “the Jews fault”.

Many feel the seeds of Ahmadinejad’s unfortunate visit were sewn last week when the Iranian President, famous for denying the Holocaust while wearing Member’s Only jackets, stated his intention of coming to Ground Zero. The move was widely seen as an attempt to win the award for having “Pumpkin Sized Balls” and it backfired when everyone in New York shat on it.

Said one New Yorker “Fuck that guy.”

The rest of the trip went as follows…

- Saturday, 9/24: Ahmadinejad gets on a plane in Iran headed to the US to chants of “Death To America”.

- Sunday, 9/25: Ahmadinejad lands and travels to his hotel, fucking up everyone’s traffic.

- Monday, 9/26: Ahmadinejad speaks at Columbia, gets pwn3d by the President of the University, a clear nerd, wonders aloud who is responsible for the attacks on 9-11 and then claims there are no gay guys in Iran.

- Tuesday, 9/27: Ahmadinejad speaks at the UN, tells Assembly that even though he lives in Iran he was only interested in nuclear facilities for the energy benefits and acts shocked everyone looks at him like he’s full of shit. He then tells Assembly not to worry about him getting nukes, because as far as he’s concerned, the issue is “now closed”. Finally, he passive aggressively suggests the US, is “obedient” to Satan.

- Wednesday, 9/28: He brazenly talks through the 3:15 showing of “2 Day in Paris” at the Angelika before flying back to Iran.


What Sucks Bonus...The Protester, Played Over And Over Again On The Local News, Who Claimed Ahmadinejad Was Just 'Hitler With A Bad Haircut"

That implies Hitler had a good haircut!

1 comment:

Kate said...

clearly the protesters don't know about the corollaries of Godwin's Law.