Monday, September 10, 2007

What Sucks...Aliens V. Predator: Requiem


Can Aliens and Predators please just work it out?

Where is the Alien Gandhi? And the Predator Nelson Mandela? And what will it take to get them to sit down and settle their differences?

Yes Predators, Aliens can be major dicks. They just look for a host body to use as a vessel to harvest their young in. But Predators, you guys are also major dicks too. We expect more from you- apparently you built the pyramids. And yes, I can see you killing Aliens and all- but you guys take out a lot of humans too- and for basically no reason. And, not to generalize, but you’re all very surly.

And Aliens, no one will ever respect you as a race until you stop the indiscriminate killing of everything you touch. Newsflash- no one wants you on their planet because you kill everyone and ruin everything. And your blood is equally toxic as that of a Predator. You’re a bunch of serious douches.

And yes if you like, for Predators substitute “Jews” and for Aliens, “Palestinians”. Go right ahead, Mr. Smarty pants.*##

*denotes Jews did not build the pyramids.
## denotes Palestinians do not look for a “host-body” in which to harvest their young.

1 comment:

aaron said...

I have to disagree with you, CD. I am GLAD that these two races have so much trouble getting along, because then I can watch sweet movies about sweet monsters trying to kill each other. Do you know what happens if Aliens and Predators started being all buddy buddy? Then there would be no more fucked up Aliens Vs Predator movies, and THEN what the fuck am I gonna watch? Catch and Release?! (It's not nearly as good the second time through)