Wednesday, September 12, 2007

What Sucks… Walking Through A Puddle With Your Shoe Laces Untied


The worst! You don’t know what’s in that puddle! What do you think it is, magic tea? Wake up- this is New York City- you’re standing in the bacterial equivalent of the bar from Star Wars. Throw those shoes out. If the worst thing in there is pee from a syphilitic dog, you’re lucky.

No one should have to tie their shoes while wearing surgical gloves, but with more and more puddles featuring discarded band-aids, you can never be too safe. It rained here yesterday and I tied my shoes tight enough so that by the time I got into work, my feet were bound. I wish I didn’t have to, but I did- 10 minutes of steady rain here and you’re standing “3 days after Katrina, New Orleans” water.

Did my shoelace get untied anyway? Yes it did and you’ll be happy to know after half a block and two puddles I couldn’t avoid, it tested positive for TB.

8 comments:

swandad said...

Would that be you I read about in today's New York Post re: roasting friends? If so, good article!

Kate said...

try tying your shoelaces differently. Mine never come untied on their own now that i converted to the Ian School of Shoelace Knots.

http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm

Anonymous said...

Okra is a scary looking vegetable.

Anonymousfornow said...

I was SO looking forward to:
Accidentally Shitting On Your Leg.

Ben said...

What Else Sucks: Deliberately Shitting on Your Leg

Anonymous said...

In response to this post, 3 words- Bring back Dex

VE said...

Could be worse though. I could have to wear those khaki pants!!

Leo said...

Hi. my name is Leo,I'm 13 and a half. I dont tie my laces because they often come untied. So I just leave tem untied like on your photo...