Thursday, August 23, 2007

What Sucks…Sex Between Dogs

Sex can be a beautiful thing. But not with dogs.

I’ve often wondered why it was I always felt uncomfortable upon seeing dogs “do it”. At first, I looked inward. Was it me? Did I have some sort of deeply buried self-loathing, an insecurity with respect to intimacy I was projecting on nature? After much thought, the answer is “No.” I just get uncomfortable witnessing rape.

If I’m the only one with the courage to say it, so be it- dogs have sex in a jarring, disturbing manner. I will no longer sit back and pretend they don’t.

Now, am I calling all dog sex rape? Pretty much.

I know it may be hard to handle for some of you, that at the end of that leash you’re towing around to various dog runs is a rapist, but let’s face it, if you’re dog is part pit-bull, mastiff or rottweiler it’s the product of rape. And by rape I mean, the female dog mating with the above dogs, or any dog above 65 pounds for that matter, pretty much has no choice in the matter.

For many of you out there with the courage to see the truth, it is not news that dogs “do it” without love. Lady and the Tramp is a cartoon folks, there is no Italian dinner, no rolling of a meatball with a snout. In real life, that scene couldn’t be shown in a kid’s movie.

Male dogs are horny animals who I have personally seen go to town on a blanket, couch or leg- with the same concern they’ve gone to town with on a female dog, or a bitch.

Bob Barker was right. Sure, publicly he said he wanted to control the pet population, but privately, come on, is it really that hard to believe he thought dogs do it “gross”?


Anonymousfornow said...

...don't knock it til' you try it.

frenchtoast said...

Its a common past time in West Virginia

Anonymousfornow said...

Mmmm...french toast...I could really go for some french toast...

pale male said...

an animal behavior expert

once told me that horny dogs

hump your leg with the same creepily disinterested look on their faces

that Michael Vick has on his face

when he plugs another dog into

the big doghouse in the sky

Walking Spanish said...

My beagle once raped a male basset hound's face and gave it a money shot to boot. Wasn't a pleasant moment when the bull dyke owner scowled at me accross the dog run.

Anonymous said...

Actually not ALL dog sex is rape. i have a black female pitbull and she is a total slut.

Shivangi said...

One female dog used to regularly come to meet up with my male dog and we had to constantly drive it away!