Monday, July 23, 2007

What Sucks…Promises Rebab Center, Again


Apparently, the other day Lohan was bragging to friends about walking around naked and “teasing male staff and patients” during her stay at Promises Rehab Center in Malibu.

Now I have no issue with Lohan marching around naked- if that’s what she wants to do before she dies this fall in some drug induced car accident, more power to her.

But Promises Rehab Center, on the other hand, shit. If I’m in college, at this point I’m seriously considering heading there for spring break. It’s already way cooler than any club or bar I’ve been to. What exactly are they promising, the time of your life? I tried to call the president of the place to get their POV, but I couldn’t get through to the ghost of Keith Moon.

Holy shit does this place NOT rehab. Are they just like, “Let’s cut our losses and just teach people to hold their liquor.” I heard 27 percent of graduates go on to get a job in Pete Doherty’s entourage. You know what I am saying? I heard first step in their 12 step program is to “recognize that one can not control one’s addiction or compulsion” and the remaining 11 steps are to “party like it’s 1999.”

3 comments:

dehumidifier said...

I like this part of the story:


Lindsay has instructed her legal team to ensure the intimate images are never released on the internet as she fears they could ruin her career.


Yeah, cause that's what's going to ruin it.

Anonymous said...
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deluca said...

Come on anon! Watch the racism!