Friday, June 29, 2007

What Sucks…Studio 60 RIP


With hardly anyone paying attention, “Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip” aired it’s final episode and just like that, television lost one of the most remarkably sucky shows to hit the airwaves in a long time.

Now, it’s impossible to go back and document all the ways this show has blown…at 7PM on a Friday night. If this were a Monday, and I was killing time at work, believe me, I’d gladly throw 1200 words up here so we can all have some fun shitting on this classic turd-burger of a show. But, it’s summer and there are drinks to be drunk.

If I had to narrow it down to a few things that stand out as “really sucking”, I’d have to point to…every single thing.

Obviously, you had the ridiculous heavy-handedness of the writing, you know, I’m not a big fan of the Christian conservative political movement, but Jesus Sorkin- did they key your car?

Also, you had the show’s insistence that people have incredibly important and insightful conversations while walking around the corridors of where they work. I’ve written and worked at few TV shows and the deepest conversations get in the hallways are, “Where’s the shitter?”

And perhaps the most insulting aspect of the show, the fact someone thought America would give a shit about a couple like Matt Albie and the girl who does the Nancy Grace impression. I think people were more emotionally invested in whether Eva Braun and Hitler would make it.

So, yes- Studio 60 sucked- damn near every second of it blew. As a matter of fact, take a look at this MONTAGE I threw together highlighting some of the more breathtakingly horrible moments.

Actually, don't. There is no montage. Who are we kidding, if I could put something together like that, my life would be very different and I wouldn’t be blogging on a Friday night like this waiting to get out of work.

BUT, here’s what it would look like, if I had…

“Simply The Best” by Tina Turner plays as…

…Matt Albie confesses that for the first 2 years he worked on the show, he didn’t get a sketch on the air. Which happens all the time, you always get 2 years to get something on a show without getting fired.

We then cut to…

…a scene from an entire episode that revolves around Matt Albie, the “brilliant” head writer being unable to come up with an edgy opening sketch, to him finally “nailing it” by doing a parody of Gilbert the Pirates of Penzance- WTF?

We then cut to…

…the episode where Darius is hired after doing a horrible set at an open mic at the Improv- on a Friday night. As if the Improv would ever have an open mic on a Friday night! As if The Improv has an open mic, period!

We then cut to…

…the episode where Tom Jeter’s parents come to the show and act like they are mesmerized by the big city, as if they have never seen one before, before revealing they are not from Idaho or the hills of Kentucky, but rather from Columbus, Ohio.

We then cut to…

…that same episode where we see they have found a parking spot just outside the Studio 60 door. This is after they have given Tom shit all night that he’s not in Afghanistan like his brother is, only to further reveal that Tom spearheads a movement that donates equipment to them. THEN have them reveal that they are driving home to Columbus, that night! (Believe me, that episode really, really, blew.)

We then cut to….

…various scenes from the brilliant, edgy “comedy show” that is put on every week including:

- the sketch that has the Asian cast member doing a horrible, racist Asian accent.
- Harriet Hayes playing Nancy Grace repeatedly
- the dude who did Nick Cage (the best guy in the cast, by the way)
- the hoopla over a sketch called “Crazy Christians” which we never see.
- the fight between the Darius guy and DL’s character after DL asked him to write a sketch about a militant Fruit of the Loom character, and then have Darius refuse – as if you’d ever refuse to write a sketch for the guy who hired you and is responsible for your 6 figure salary.

We then cut to…

...Matt Ablie taking drugs, getting addicted to them and then kicking the addiction in about 45 minutes…

We then cut to…

…Matt Albie staring at the giant clock in his office, counting down the amount of time till the next show. A giant clock? Really?

There’s more but I can finally leave.

7 comments:

piglet said...

You hate, but yet you watch. Apparently every week.

Fascinating.

Anonymousfornow said...

You should have tried to get out of work earlier yesterday.

pale male said...

this post is, without a doubt, the most serious attempt yet to grapple with the spiritual void

left in all of our lives when Studio 60 shuffled off this mortal coil of network air and went gently into that (new, specially irrelevant) night

the mind reels...nevermore will we be delightfully subjected to technical errors like:

- the idea you'd scramble "F-14s" from Bagram AB. I can't handle the un-truth. Didn't this guy write a movie about the Navy?

- the President of the any Network (even fictional ones) knows how to tune in any sort of radio Podcast, no matter how jingoistic or needed for the flashback "plot" of "K & R. Parts 1-3"

- Sarah Paulson

the embarrassing flailing as this decaptitated turkey stumbled its last only served to deepen the loss we all feel

knowing that a perfect storm of bad writing, terrifically horrible acting and hideously trite anti-drama is not like to be seen again for a generation, if ever

I just hope the real "Wes" where/whoever he may be, wasn't around to see this

Anonymous said...

It's like you're purposely trying to write like Maddox (who himself is lame, I say). I agree though, this show was horrible.

dehumidifier said...

I didn't mind Studio 60 so much, but I really really loved the West Wing, so I was pulling for the show to do (and yes I guess, be,) better.

I agree on one point - that Pirates of Penzance thing was stupid. Gilbert and Sullivan are just not that funny, no matter how much Sorkin tries to convince us otherwise.

Anonymous said...

This show blew. I wonder how long it'll take for Sorkin fanatics to find your blog and go, "You're just not smart enough to appreciate Sorkin's writing! You probably love shows like America's Got Talent and hate anything with intelligence! Blah blah blah Sorkin blah blah blah genius blah blah blah!"

julius said...

You're forgetting the episode of S60 where the host was Allison Janney and the music guest Macy Gray (an incredibly shitty lineup in '07)

Allison Janney's credit is given as "West Wing" yet she fails to recognize Bradley Whitford and the director guy as also from the "West Wing"