Tuesday, June 26, 2007
What Sucks…Bikram Yoga
I’ll be the first to say there are many benefits to yoga and the yoga lifestyle. It has given countless people across the world the ability to lower their stress levels and lead healthier lives. Plus, in tandem with “Big Granola”, hippy dudes everywhere now have something to talk about other than making their own jewelry and smoking weed. In addition, it has raised the living standard of skinny Indian dudes and with long hair, and given work to people who make yoga mats.
That being said, Bikram Yoga is a hellish torture test, designed by people for whom I can only guess, want to feel as much public pain and discomfort as possible, but can’t get tickets to “Big & Rich”.
For those who don’t know, Bikram Yoga is a 26-pose yoga program, in a room heated to 105 degrees, with 50 percent humidity. It’s twisting your body in hell. Plus, it has a yoga teacher in there with you, which makes it a little worse than hell. I doubt Satan has enough time to give you his unsolicited opinion on why eating meat and driving your car is bad while he’s burning your balls off. He has things to do, you know- making sure Jerry Falwell is adjusting well to his new gig blowing demons, coordinating with Dick Cheney, trading stories with Charles Kuralt, etc.
Perhaps Birkram just isn’t for me. But come on, who’s it for? People who say “Hey, yoga’s cool but I wish we could do it in a sauna, in the earth’s core…at high noon!"?