Sometimes on this blog I have to take unpopular views (WhatSucks.blogspot.com/HOTLESBIANSMAKINGOUT/fakelink). This however, is not one of those times.
If there was a “Suck Mecca”, it has to be the DMV.
Now, in my lifetime, I’ve owned a car in 4 different states and have received tickets in a few (many) others, and I find it amazing how no matter where I go, each encounter with a DMV never fails to blow.
Unscientific as my research is, I’m willing to bet that the DMV must have the single best “Exist to Suck”, or E:S, ratio in the world. It has to be that nearly 100 % of DMV’s suck. An amazing stat considering the fact that there are a couple of thousand DMV’s across the country.
Not to get side tracked here, but just to give you an idea of what that means, you can say that every Dane Cook movie sucks. Sure, there’s a 100 % conversion rate there, but what are there, 3 or 4 Dane Cook movies? Let’s raise the stakes - let’s say every Celine Dion album sucks. Okay, again we’re at a very high conversion rate, there are approximately 18 Celine Dion albums- all of them blow- impressive yes, but not so much when you think of the fact that there are thousands of DMV’s around the country. Thousands. To come anywhere close to that you have to, I don’t know...look at Mexicans. I’M KIDDING! TOTALLY A JOKE.
Seriously, the DMV is a true legend in suck. It’s an institution built on suckiness. Not only do they suck, but the vast majority of people who work there also suck- and the vast amount of services they offer, suck as well.
It’s like each DMV was built on an Indian burial ground that had buried in it, Indians who sucked. Amazing.
And what does the future have? More suckage? Probably. What’s the greatest innovation at the DMV in the last 40 years? A bench? A “Take a Number” system? Great, the DMV has finally narrowed the gap with my local super market.
Thanks for the bench.