Friday, May 18, 2007

What Sucks…Maxim’s Hot 100 List # 95 “Second Life Girl”

No. No. No!

No, you DON’T get to put an avatar on your hot 100 list. Terrible job by Maxim.

First off, you have her beating out 5 HUMAN women, which is just plain rude. It’s kind of like when ESPN counted down the top 100 athletes of the century and ended up putting Secretariat, a horse, in at number 35. That was rude to Jerry West, Chris Evert, Sandy Kofax and Lawrence Taylor, among others. Now Maxim owes someone named Noureen DeWolf, Mia Maestro, Sun from Lost and Shanna Moakler (who kicked Paris Hilton’s ass) apologies.

Secondly making it okay to have a public conversation about having any feelings of attraction or arousal toward a video game character in any way shape or form, is wrong. Those feelings, if they exist in anyone should be pushed to the most far off regions of the mind because they are dirty and shameful. It’s not okay to make them “funny” or “ironic” cool- as it is to be a fan of someone like “David Hasselhoff” or “The Dixie Chicks”. Getting wood over a video game character is just plain pervy. The people who do, are one step away from those guys who play WOW, chose a female (elf) character and then when they communicate with someone else, don't reveal they're guys. Which makes them TWO steps away from one day "meeting" Chris Hanson in some house.

Thirdly, you’re taking a place away from a human. What, because you guys want to put Zelda on your list Alyssa Milano can’t continue her Ripken-esque streak of appearing on the top 100? That’s wrong and it’s bullshit.

You have ONE job Maxim- show us hot chicks who somehow think being in your magazine is different from being in Playboy- don’t mess it up! Who's gonna be # 95 next year? Bugs Bunny in Drag?

What Sucks Bonus…Maxim Ranks Avril Lavigne, Ashlee Simpson, Hilary Duff and Fergie Over Shakira

Did you guys fall asleep on your dicks? WTF? Ashlee Simpson? Fergie? Are you out of your minds? Is this still a men’s magazine?

1 comment:

j said...

Fergie? Eww--she looks like she used to be a he. Must be the same people who think Kirsten Dunst is hot.

I like David Spade's line on SNL one time as a photo of a particularly hideous Sandra Bernhardt-like model was flashed up behind him.

"Here's an idea--you designers make the clothes and let the heterosexuals pick the models"