Thursday, April 05, 2007

What Sucks...Sand Flies


The beach, like caller ID, the remote control and Netflicks, it is one of G-d’s gifts to mankind. Comfy sand, beautiful water and women wearing very little provides an amazing escape from the everyday shit-fest that is life. Sand flies therefore, occupy a very special place in the pantheon of suck.

First off, they’re flies. Normally, this is enough said. They’re annoying, gross, many times born in poo, and in order to eat, throw up on their food, so that a chemical breaks down what they eat into a syrupy, puke-ish, easy to slurp mess. Sand flies take all these traits, and bring them to the beach. Oh yeah, and they also bite you.

Nice job on this one, God.

4 comments:

alvin said...

nj, well, that says it all

Anonymous said...

Find the right way down through the maze, to the food, then find the exit. Push the exit button. If the food tastes awful, don't eat it, go back and try another way.

They want the same thing that you do, really, they want a path, just like you. You are in a maze in a maze, but which one counts? Your maze, their maze, my maze. Or are the mazes all the same, defined by the limits of their paths?

Existence is simple: find the food, push the button, hit the treadmill.

But sometimes it gets much harder. Sometimes the food makes you sick, or you can hear nearby feet racing you, urging you on. Sometimes the button only gets you landed right back in the beginning of the maze again, and the food won't satisfy.

There is only one path, and that is the path that you take, but you can take more than one path.

Cross over the cell bars, find a new maze, make the maze from its path, find the cell bars, cross over the bars, find a maze, make the maze from its path, eat the food, eat the path.

Chris DeLuca said...

Early runner for freakiest comment, nice job anon.

Mickey said...

*Feh