Tuesday, April 17, 2007

What Sucks…Queen’s Greatest Hits


DISCLAIMER: In all fairness, I should point out that I am talking about the Queen’s Greatest Hits Elektra version. Therefore, in the following posting, I will not be shitting on “Radio Ga-Ga” and “Save Me” or “Body Language”. If you’re reading this in hopes of seeing me shit on those songs, I apologize in advance. That being said…

Is it possible an entire album can suck, while still being a “Greatest Hits”?

What exactly was it with Queen? As a 13-year old, this album could do no wrong. Now, I can’t believe anything on this was a hit.

Check out these songs.

Do you have the desire to hear ANY of them un-ironically? I’ve honestly heard Bohemian Rhapsody so many times that I’m sick of listening to the baritone part. Gun to my head, I’ll take “Under Pressure” over anything else on side one even though it was basically killed by Vanilla Ice’s “Ice, Ice Baby”.

But what about “Bicycle Race”? Was that really a hit, ever? Did adults sit around and “rock out” to that? Same for “Fat Bottomed Girls”. What, did Freddie Mercury have a “Ray Stevens” stage?

And the only song to play after a sporting event more emasculating than “We Are the Champions” is Shania Twain’s “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” and have you ever thought about the idea behind “We Will Rock You”. Try to and not get weirded out a little- other than a guy having mud on his face, I’m not sure what it’s about.

“Another One Bites The Dust” is basically a disco song that tells the story of a mob-type hit. Measure its impact today, and your talking about a song played at a baseball game when someone strikes out.

What’s left? Crazy Little Thing Called Love? Killer Queen? The Flash Gordon song? Are these great, great songs? Or are they act one of this amazing show…

8 comments:

dehumidifier said...

I listen to Killer Queen, Bicycle Race and Under Pressure (which, admittedly is overplayed) un-ironically sometimes.

Anonymous said...

You're way off base with this one. I'll chalk it up to your being upset that Freddy is gone.
It's not your fault Chris. Its not your fault. Its not your fault. No, its not your fault.

Mickey said...

I liked killer queen too.

No synth'

Variant E said...

I agree, you're off base on this one too. Queen was also one of the best bands to go see in concert. The world is a slightly less interesting place without Freddy around. On the positive side, that song "Grace Kelly" by Mika sounds so much like Queen I thought he's been resurrected.

anonymousfornow said...

I used to roller disco to Another One Bites the Dust: Chris, lay off!!

Anonymous said...

I'd honestly rather listen to turkeys getting their necks broken than listening to Bohemian Rhapsody and Killer Queen.

Anonymous said...

What sucks is this review.
Is this supposed to be humorous?

Anonymous said...

You're a fucking idiot.

Queen's songs are part of the peak of music. You seem to think that the music that used to be great isn't anymore because it's been replaced with things that make it look terrible by comparison? Are you really that fucking stupid? There will never be another Queen, there will never be another Freddie Mercury and there will never be great music again. You have no idea what you're god-damned talking about! Those songs were unbelievable when they came out and they still are. There are STILL discovering them and loving them, and there are STILL diehard fans that have been that way since they begain.
People like you make me so angry.