Thursday, April 12, 2007
What Sucks...Anatomy Of A Douchebag: Michael Nifong
5 steps to being a total douchebag…
In an effort to come out on top in your upcoming reelection bid, get on TV as much as you can as you try and capitalize on a sensational story involving elite, rich white kids abusing an African-American girl in your mostly African-American community, go public with some accusations that are known to be untrue.
Refuse to hear exculpatory evidence (evidence that could clear the defense) PRIOR to indictment. Subsequently admit in court that 6 months after the incident neither you nor anyone from your office has even met with the alleged victim. Then add that on the night the alleged victim was shown a line up of suspects, the line up CONSISTED ENTIRELY OF DUKE LACROSSE PLAYERS! Act indignant when she picks out three people who went to Duke. Really? They all went to Duke, huh? Shocker- that’s all she saw!
Withhold (read: hide) DNA evidence that would clear said lacrosse players from the defense! Then, of course after you have been re-elected, get reprimanded for holding back said evidence and be forced to drop the rape aspect of the case due to that evidence and the alleged victim’s constant changing of her story.
Step #4: Despite dropping the rape charge, maintain a “kidnapping and assault charge” even though one of your suspects has a time stamped ATM receipt that would pretty much have him in a different place at the time of the attack.
Write the Attorney General asking him to take over the case after the alleged victim admits one of the defendants did NOT attack her, refuse to drop the charges on the person she cleared and then, one day after the Attorney General takes over the case and drops all charges, get investigated by him, have him call you a “rogue prosecutor” and “apologize” to the kids who’s lives you basically ruined.
Congrats, you are a douchebag.