Monday, March 26, 2007

What Sucks…The What Sucks Mailbag: What You Think Sucks!

For the 1st time ever, I’m opening the What Sucks mailbag- where you tell me what YOU think sucks!

Have a suggestion as to what sucks? Email me at and, unless you really weird me out, YOU will get the chance to tell the world what you think sucks…

Please leave a name or your initials, where you’re from, and, if you want, a link for me to plug. If you fail to leave a link, or do not have one, one will be provided.

Our first email:
What Sucks…People Who Use The Term “Rockstar”

Ben from NYC says:

...I have a suggestion for what sucks. People who use the term "rockstar," especially in conjunction with a job listing. As in: "We are looking for a rock star to join our account management team." No, you are not looking for a rock star. You don't want a member of your management team to be gooned on heroin and poking underage girls. You want a factory-wrapped douche in a suit who doesn't mind neglecting his family and spending long hours wasting time on the internet while you fart around planning a mandatory after-work drinks session that nobody really wants to attend.

"Rock star" is the new "Too much information" and that sucks, but hard.

ED’s NOTE: True- and let me add this- other uses of the term “You’re a rock star.” usually eminate from doing something for someone, who's usually in a position of power, that is not in your job description. So, no- me going to pick out a gift for your friend who's wedding is coming this weekend, or me going downstairs to get your food does NOT make me “a Rockstar”, a "rockstar" would throw a bottle of Jack Daniels at your head if you asked him to get your laundry. It just makes you an a-hole for asking me, and me an a-hole for not having boundaries!

Email #2:
What Sucks…The George Michael Sports Machine!

Ted in LA says:

...What about a parting shot at George Michael and his totally-sucky "Sports Machine" which goes off the air Sunday.

…It's not a "machine," you douche, it's a "reel-to-reel tape recorder"...if you want to impress me, it has to be at least as futuristic as "Tron" (I'm easily impressed). And why is this machine obsessed with baseball managers getting all up in the ump's grill? (or diving catches by George Brett). {Michael is} just cuing up a tape! The real question: what evil "toupee machine" shat out whatever lies atop George Michael’s head? And what's with the cheesy synth-drum porn music? I'm always afraid the Washington Capitals highlights are going to end with a slo-mo cumshot...forcing me, for once, to actually care about hockey….

And is windsurfing and/or wrestling really a "sport"? Don't they belong in the "Hobby Machine" that resides with the lifestyle reporter down the hallway?

ED’s NOTE: Well said, and yes, while you are a little angry at George Michael, the Sports Machine has long sucked and has long appeared extremely low tech. Michael’s been skating on the bullshit for 27 years! 27 YEARS! And just because you may be above making a joke about the OTHER George Michael, doesn't mean I am- so let me point out that he has a Sports Machine too, but his just sucks your dick in a park.

The OTHER George Michael's Sports Machine.


Megan said...

that "ted" is a douche. what the hell has he ever done?
i dont see his machine doing shit.

LA said...

Also sucks: Rockstar Supernova