Thursday, March 29, 2007

What Sucks...Pepe Le Pew

Is it me, or is this French bastard lucky cats don’t carry mace? I mean Mike Tyson did time for what this skunk does every day. Hey Pepe, “Meow” means “no”! Why each cartoon doesn’t start off with this skunk “registering” himself in a police station is a mystery.

Of course you couldn’t even have Pepe Le Pew without the poor cat who plays “Ned Beatty” to Pepe’s “hillbilly with a banjo”.

That poor thing, it must be hell knowing that each day you come in contact with white paint, that night you’ll have to take the morning after pill. Nine lives is a curse when you have to spend them living in fear of “skunk rape”.


Despite a criminal justice system that has apparently failed this cat, it DOES seem it is impossible for her to avoid white paint. I mean seriously, I have managed to avoid white paint for the better part of my lifetime, and I DON’T get fucked by a skunk when I get hit with it. You’d think if the stakes were higher, she’d make more of an effort. But who am I to judge, she’s probably traumatized.

“Oh, white paint again. Great. Now I look like a skunk. Wonder if Pepe Le Pew is gonna come over here try and fuck me? Last time I saw that a-hole I ended up in a bath tub full of tomato juice with a UTI!”


What's clear is that Peppy just doesn’t care. As a skunk- he’s GOTTA know that’s a cat. I mean she’s like “MEOW! I’m a fucking cat! That’s mouse on my breath- I’m sitting here with a ball of string…MEOW!”

He can’t help himself- hormones raging- he’s just seeing black and white at this point. How many mornings does Pepe black out, wake up with claw marks across his face, look over to his left and see a badger?

“I did WHAT last night?”

This whole interspecies- nonconsensual thing is wrong. Come on now- kids are watching.


Anonymous said...

A guy brings a skunk home to his wife who is always complaining about being cold and lonely when he's gone --'Here darling --put him betwen your legs when i'm away"

"But what about the smell?" she said.

"Don't worry -- i got used to it --so will he." Bandit Joke!

Anonymous said...

Now write something about Elmer Fudd and his connections with the NRA.