Wednesday, March 07, 2007

What Sucks…People Who See The Virgin Mary In Pizza Pans, Danishes, Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, Etc.

Ah, that is not Mary, the Mother of Jesus appearing on your shower curtain. It is some sort of stain caused by water drying in a certain pattern, and you really should be squeegeeing it to prevent mold.

More importantly, why would the Mother of Jesus appear on a shower curtain? Yours, nonetheless?

The only reason I can think of is because She wants you to tell the guy at "Moron Cafe", located on "Too Many People On The Earth Avenue", that She is NOT appearing on his doughnut.

Why do people think that the woman who gave birth to He who defeated sin, can only appear in stains?

Look at these wackos who took off work to set up and go see the "cookie sheet shrine". They should be fired. You cannot bake Mary. Nor, can you find her on the bottom of a turtle...

What are you looking for on the bottom of the turtle in the first place, perv?

The list goes on and on. Mary is a piece of ice in a freezer…

Or in a glass of chocolate milk…

Why would an omniscient, all powerful God, who made the earth- not be able to find a better way for the Mother of his only Son to get some face time with you than to have her appear in a cheese sandwich?

So stop it. I'm sick of seeing these stupid reports at the end of my local newscast or in the "weird news" section of my paper. Give some other psychos a chance! There may be some young kid out there wearing a suit entirely made up of chicken parmesan, and he's not getting on TV, because some nutbag thinks he see Jesus' Mom in a used coffee filter. Mary is not on your Danish! She is however, in this early photograph of Metallica.


Petiny said...

You forgot people who see The Jesus' face in the water/see/satellite pictures etc (sucks too:) )

Anonymous said...

that cookie sheet thing looks more like a cock-n-balls anyway.