Tuesday, March 13, 2007

What Sucks…Bush

I feel a little powerless when it comes to expressing just how I feel about our President. I’m not sure if it’s frustration getting the best of me, or my reaction to just being overwhelmed by the sheer amount of damage done on his watch. The incompetence, the misleading, the lack of accountability- I look for the words to articulate my pain but sadly, cannot find them. Thusly, I am reduced to this…

I wish the movie "Dave" would happen.

Could it happen?

I’m not proud of being unable to explain this in a more inspiring way. I wish I had the eloquence to express my thoughts that would leave my readers stirred- but after some soul searching, I’m not sure I can.

So I wish there was someone who looked exactly like President Bush. I wish this person was called on to pose as Bush one night after Bush made a speech at a hotel. I wish as this person was posing as Bush, leaving the hotel, Bush kind of got tied up in something. In the movie, the guy has a stroke, it doesn’t have to be that, and I don’t want to end up on an FBI list, but this guy posing as Bush HAS to take over. And when he does, and the bad guys, in this case Cheney and Rove, will try to control him, but this new Bush outsmarts them and starts to do the RIGHT thing. He pulls a coin out of some veteran’s ear and FIXES the hospital- hell, he takes care of the hurricane survivors and begins to un-screw us from Iraq.

And sure, there can be a funny part where he wins over the secret service guy assigned to him, and even where he tricks Laura Bush into not noticing that he’s not the real Bush. They can even do that scene where Bush is in the shower, and Laura talks to him and then looks at his thing. If she’s allowed to do that. They can even fall in love! Maybe along the way he explains to her that not exploring stem cell research because it may give “false hope” to those suffering from disease is an ass-backward reason not to explore stem cells.

And yes, he can fire Cheney, just like the way the Dave guy fires the Bob Alexander played by Frank Langella. Then, at the end, he can fake his own death, hands the presidency over to the next in line, I believe it would be Ben Kingsley, and we as a country remember President George Bush the way he wants to be remembered- as a cool president. Before you know it, there’s a new election, we get a new President and everything shifts back towards normal-ville.

Then, Laura Bush, still in love with the Bush look-a-like, makes out with him and no one seems to mind she’s making out with a guy who looks exactly like her old husband.


Anonymous said...

I'm in!

-Steve Bridges

Shawn said...

Could we raise some cash to plastic surgery someone to fit the role? Bikini car wash!

I'd say Jon Stewart qualifies for the job if we can alter him enough.

Man the real Bush is a tragedy. It hurts to have to refer to a tragedy in the present tense too.

Anonymous said...

Wow -- Dude - your'e not just another pretty comedy guy!

You know What Sucks? -- the ignorant morons who voted for him and the ignorant morons who didn't vote at all ( but they all vote for The next American Idol)

I vote for your pickle in Mrs. bandit before it's too late.