Thursday, February 08, 2007

What Sucks…Live Blogging Things That Shouldn’t Be Live Blogged: THE NEWS HOUR WITH JIM LEHRER

7:00PM- Here we go...

Hey nice red tie, Jim...sheesh all these topics, is an hour enough time?

7:01PM- Hey aren't there supposed to be no commercials on PBS? Thanks ADM, CIT and Chevon even if you are giant corporations that could crush my hometown. Wonder what Jim is doing now?

7:02PM- We're right into it with some BS story about an arrest. And oh jeez, another car bomb in Iraq.

Jim is Flying by the headlines here- the graphics people doing the best they can to keep up.

7:04PM- Emmanuel talking zzzzzz. Boehner speaking ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Even worse. Hey a-hole if its non-binding, why fear it so much?

7:06PM- The supreme leader of Iran is threatening us if we do anything. Great. Now Gates is talking about the Taliban. Back to Jim, he is FLYING! Its been 7 minutes, and he's covered 12 stories. He must be on coke!

7:07PM Now we're talking about Hamas and the PLO- Jim teases a report for later in the show.

7:08PM- The Scooter Libby case, oh Jim is loving talking shit about Russert. I can see the pleasure he takes when he describes Tim on the stand.

7:09PM- We're into segemnt 2- and Jim throws to Judy Woodruff.

7:10PM- Wooddruff is flirting with some guy who is reporting on a dude arrested in Iraq.

7:12PM: Judy asking questions with her words, giving answers with her eyes...Damien Cave of the NYT doesn't seem to be interested. The people are promising to hide their guns until they see if the government can keep them safe- I have a feeling bullet stores will continue to be a growth industry over there for some time.

7:15PM- Final question...will you marry me, Damien?

7:16PM- Jim is back. He's throwing to someone named "Indigo". He's drunk...Some guy with an eye patch is very poorly dubbed.

7:18PM- Indigo Gilmore. Nice name. I'd wear a bullet proof vest too. (He was wearing a bulletproof vest.)

7:19PM- Arab guys kissing again upon greeting. Yeah, it's their custom, whatever.

7:20PM- More bad dubbing, I guess this is where you see the difference between network $ and PBS money.

Jim's back. And now we're on a website.

7:21PM- A story on healthcare. Evil Wal-Mart logo. Apparently they want health care- and now an old lady is getting a shot.

Ron Pollock is talking...blah, blah, blah ARNOLD is on now! He's talking! I wonder if Jim is going nuts right now as the tape rolls...

7:24PM- Jim is back in the studio talking to a lesbian and some white haired dude who is probably looking to rip us off.

7:25PM- Maybe this white haired guy is not looking to rip us the lesbian is talking again. They are looking to have healthcare in place by 2012. Great, my diabetes will be kicking in by then.

7:29PM- Wow, if we get healthcare, I'm gonna need a doctor to cure me of "TalkingAboutHealthCare-Itus". I have a bad case.

7:34PM- Jim enjoys a light moment with the grey haired guy and sends these two jokers on their way- coming up...blasting bacteria!

7:35PM- This is like Jack-ass, a guy is eating contaminated spinich on purpose. Jim has to be away from the desk now- my guess- he's doing a line of coke, or pissing.

7:36PM- This is about food getting radiated in order to "clean" it.

7:38PM- They're showing an old movie now.

7:42PM- Funny photos of someone dressed as a sterak getting zapped. So its like this, we can clean our food with radiation, or we can continue to have to "take care of our food properly." Are we lazy?

7:44PM- Finally Jim would say, "a story about money, honey". Well he wasn't really saying that. This is a story about buyouts of major companies. Kind of like what Richard Gere did in Pretty Woman- I mean with his company- not with gerbils.

7:45PM- A child they are interviewing (Andrew Ross Sorkin- he looks young) basically explains that people in private equity funds are basically flipping companies. The guy talking now is apparently from the Fuck School of Business at Dartmounth. Oh sorry, the TUCK School. My bad.

7:48PM- Apparently the guys involved in the Blackstone deal, are in love with each other as they send poetry back and forth.

7:52PM- Andrew is somewhere in Times Square if anyone is walking by, please flash! I guess the same can be said for anyone at Dartmounth where this other dude is.

7:54PM- Jeez, if you stayed awake through that bore-fest, you're rewarded with a recap from Jim. The Iraq deputy health inspector was arrested - I just got that after an hour.

7:55PM- Wait a minute!? It's over? The fucking New Hour with Jim Lehrer is only 54 minutes long! This is bullshit!


Nee said...

Funny stuff Chris

I try to watch jim every night...

boy, you type fast.

Nee said...

I feel sorry for you....

Anonymous said...

Jim Lehrer is so sexy