Tuesday, December 12, 2006

What Sucks...Guys Who Shoot Tigers..and Yes, I'm Afraid, Tigers

I’ll level with you all here right off the bat- I am beset with ironic confusion as I post this latest entry on What Sucks, finding myself at the intersection of Ying and Yang, with my yang hanging in the breeze.

There is no doubt that the wild Tiger, (as seen on a recent episode of 60 Minutes- I’m clearing out my DVR) is an amazing animal. It’s fearsome grace typifies nature at its most beautiful and most dangerous. Sadly however, it is in danger of extinction as its numbers continue to dwindle due to poaching and other encroachments by man on its space. The senseless killing of this cat for its skin and value in traditional Chinese medicine should sound a call to arms for everyone who loves nature and the poachers and developers who perpetrate their destruction are criminals and should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

That being said, however, given the chance, a tiger will fuck you up- no doubt. With one blow from their mighty paw they can kill a water buffalo. Tigers weigh between 400 and 700 pounds and are between 8 and 10 feet long. They are excellent swimmers, can jump 5 meters and run up to 35 miles per hour. In some instances tigers have been known to kill crocodiles and fuck up brown bears. As a matter of fact, brown bears, bad-asses in their own right, stay away from Tigers out in the wild.

Now to be fair, scientists point out that tigers do not normally attack man. A tiger will generally not see a man has a food source, choosing instead bigger animals such as wild boars, gaur and large deer. Research finds only in instances where the tiger is very old, or injured, where they can NOT catch the above animals will it ever attack the slower, weaker man. Problem of course with this is that it is difficult to determine whether or not a tiger is injured or old before it pounces on you, as they do not talk.

So yes, Tiger poachers are the scourge of the Indian subcontinent and do readily suck, however, upon a face to face meeting with a tiger, do they suck any less than being eaten alive by something that can kick the shit out of a brown bear?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Pouchers should concentrate on killing off these things.


Who's bright idea was this? What's next science? - gonna combine an earthquake and a tornado?