Thursday, November 23, 2006

What Sucks…Turkeys Are Total Dicks!


In case you’re feeling bad about this afternoon, realize this: Turkey’s are assholes. Here are some facts from National Geographic…

…Turkeys often bring young children into “PG” or “R” rated films, where they invariably end up talking loudly or crying, thus ruining the movie-going experience for everyone else.

…Turkeys regularly pronounce the “W” in the word “SWORD”.

…Turkeys, when asked if they’ve seen a particular television show, roll their eyes up and contend they “only watch PBS” thus making everyone else in the conversation feel inferior.

…a turkey invented the ATM fee.

…when in a bar with a jutebox Turkeys will often select and play “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” by Meatloaf, sadly this is especially true for male turkeys.

…A turkey will often chose to use the urinal next to you, even when he doesn’t have to.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

WFT?

20 comments:

Susie said...

...the "w" in "sword" bit -- love it!!

Erik said...

I'm still eating turkey, and savoring every moment of it. The most pompous bird ever.

piglet said...

Now that I know, next year I'm going to eat two.

Anonymous said...

why's that picture of Garfield on this post? It has nothing to do with Garfield. Weird.

Pamela said...

That confused me too actually. The Garfield picture seemed to pop up from out of nowhere. Guess this blog hates Mondays.

Prof Keenan said...

Well, the post is about Thanksgiving. That's a picture from the Thanksgiving Day parade. It's not that out of left field.

Mooney said...

Actually, the post is about Turkeys. It's Turkeys Turkeys Turkeys Turkeys Giant Fucking Garfield. It's like Chris Deluca couldn't help himself.

Anonymous said...

Whatever. The post was funny. More What Sucks!

Maggie Estep said...

Lasagna!

Chris DeLuca said...

Please be respectful of other peoples views. Readers are free to comment and think this post is about Thanksgiving and turkeys (which it is, actually). If you see some connection to Garfield, that's on you and what's going on in your life.


Sorry to sound harsh, like I said all comments are welcome, but I'm not so nuts about the Garfield insinuations, especially, with all due respect, from Mooney and Maggie.

Chris DeLuca said...

by the way, thank you Prof. Keenen.

Anonymous said...

By "respect other people's views," it sounds like you're saying, "agree with me." Prof Keenan comes to your defense and he gets a special shoutout while the rest of us get scolded? I'll tell you what sucks, comments sections run by fascists who are strangely defensive about which obese cats they choose to include on their blogs.

Maggie Estep said...

Odie sucks!

Chris said...

I've seen this before- anonymous, any chance you're using "anonymous" because you can't afford to use your real name "Jim Davis"?

Keenan gets props b/c he speaks the truth, although I can't be certain he's an actual professor.

Anonymous said...

This whisper campaign must end.

If the author loves Garfield, and by association, U.S. Acres, then so be it.

God will judge his soul, not man.

Karl Famzjen said...

Great blog! Want to trade links? Check my site out.

http://members.tripod.com/~pulliamd/garfnodieslinks.html

Chris said...

Don't hit that link! NSFW!

Chris said...

nice cheap shot at Odie, by the way, maggie.

WADE the DUCK said...

Garfield smarfield,

U.S. ACRES is Jim Davis' magnum opus.

AND YOU ALL KNOW THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Meredith said...

hilarious!