Monday, November 13, 2006

What Sucks…The Uptown Girl Video



This thing does not age well.

There are a lot of bad things going on here. Like…

A) Billy Joel Dancing.
Billy Joel is seriously white. We’re talking “married to James Brown” white and no where is it more clear then when he is awkwardly line dancing his way through this video.



B) The Video’s Narrative.
Made in the hey-day of the narrative music video, Uptown Girl puts us in an auto shop where the employees, a bunch of greaseballs, dance and sing as they fix cars. If you don’t have a problem with this, you’re Twyla Tharp.

C) The Christie Brinkley Factor.
This could explain a lot. I’m thinking Billy may have been on a confidence high when he made this video. For example there may have been some exchanges like this…

CONCERNED FRIEND OF BILLY WHO UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT OF LEGACY:
Hey Billy- are you really gonna dance in this thing? I’m not sure that’s…

BILLY JOEL:
Dude, I just married Christy Brinkley. Look at me. In her prime. I can do anything!

Or something like this.

CONCERNED FRIEND OF BILLY WHO UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT OF LEGACY:
Billy- you really think you can play a mechanic who works in a shop where all the other mechanics sing?

BILL JOEL:
Look at my face. Did I introduce you to my fucking wife, Christy Brinkley?

Or

CONCERNED FRIEND OF BILLY WHO UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT OF LEGACY:
Dude, what’s with the two random black kids break dancing?

BILLY JOEL:
Break dancing is very popular man, Christy thought it was a good idea. You know, I’m getting a lot of negativity from you dude. What the fuck?

CONCERNED FRIEND OF BILLY WHO UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT OF LEGACY:
Ah yeah, sorry man. I just, I guess, ah, forget I said anything. I’ll go get your notes on the “We Didn’t Start The Fire” song you were talking about.

BILLY JOEL:
All right man, that’s more like it. Good talk.

D) The 2 African American kids break dancing, out of no where, for no apparent reason.



I have no way of explaining this.

4 comments:

AO said...

Don't forget that she's probably even a worse dancer than he is. But being hot gets her a free pass with that. Like Chrissy Snow with Jack Tripper at the Regal Beagle.

Anonymous said...

you typo'd "friend" not once, but four times.

also, "lol".

GorillaSushi said...

Putting your hot wife in your video is the best way to say "I better document this because as soon as the taxes on my solid gold mansion catch up with me, she's outa here". Just ask David Coverdale or Axl Rose...

Anonymous said...

sorry, but billy joel is not 'seriously white' . he is though seriously jewish...hence he makes lots of money for doing nothing, and not even doing it well