Tuesday, October 03, 2006

What Sucks…Tapeworms

Easily one of the most disgusting animals in creation. I can honestly not think of too many things more disgusting on this earth. Jellyfish? Leeches? Earwigs? Not even close. Maggots? Dung beetles? Maybe top 10, but I still don’t see them beating out the Tapeworm.

Here’s why- because when you think about it, you could very well see a nasty, disgusting, blood sucking leech, or maggot or earwig, and then open it up to find out that in its disgusting belly, is a Tapeworm. Trumping the leech, maggot or beetle in grossness.

It’s hard to believe the God who made the butterfly also made this. Was he all “This morning let there be beautiful winged insect that floats on the wind and from time to time will gently land on a flower. Then this afternoon we’ll make a parasitic worm, born in shit, destined to infect the animals it lives in, robbing them of nutrition, and yes, sometimes growing to be 9 feet long.”

Is this one of those things where God has to show us something that’s disgusting in order for us to enjoy something beautiful? If so, why didn’t He just make it rain or something. Again, he has the tendency to be a Dick.

Tapeworm head. Nasty.

By the way, do we really need to know how shitty things are in order to know when something is beautiful? I don’t need to taste post-nasal drip in order to know ice cream is yummy. If you’re so superficial that you need to listen to Nickelback in order to appreciate the sounds of early Whitney Houston, then you don’t deserve early Whitney Houston in the first place! And, my friends, if you don’t like early Whitney Houston, which is roughly the period that extends from “Whitney Houston” to “Whitney” to “I’m Your Baby Tonight” and to the National Anthem at the Super Bowl- everything basically until Bobby and crack, then I’m not even sure God can help you.

She was so beautiful then.


Heather said...

I came to your blog via Girls Are Pretty, which of course is disturbing in its own right, and how lucky I was to be greeted with my first taste of your site to find TAPEWORMS, my ultimate nightmare. Tapeworms are a special brand of nightmare, sucking (literally) doesn't even begin to describe it. Thanks a lot.

Ben said...

Once again, DeLuca lays it on the line, telling those rat bastard tapeworms exactly where they can get off.

Give 'em hell, Chris...they've had it easy for far too long.

Lucia's Dreamer said...

When I got my little pup from a rescue, he came with a little friend in tow: none other than the tapeworm of which you speak. The entire process of killing (and passing) the tapeworm was so disgusting, that had the pup not been so darn cute, I may have given up on pet ownership right then and there.

Chris DeLuca said...

Tapeworms, as usual seem to have stirred up in us an "ocean of emotion". I think we have so much trouble with them because they are so nasty, and they suck so bad. Heather, Ben, Lucia's Dreamer my hat is off to all of you for continuing this discussion.

Hey, this is serious stuff, sometimes you hit this page and we don't like what we see- it's not like flowers and kittens are highlighted here. It's an ugly world.


hannah said...

I've just gotta add: I was kind of more grossed out by the Nickelback reference than the pictures of tapeworms. I mean, what the hell is WITH that band? Does anyone listen to them? Could we possibly find a way to GIVE CHAD KROEGER A TAPEWORM?