Screech wants you to pay 50 dollars to watch him give a woman a “Dirty Sanchez”.
Translated, that means, and I’m sorry for being so graphic, Screech wants you to pay 50 bucks to watch him put his privates in a woman’s behind, pull it out, then paint her a mustache with his thing.
I say “No.”
No Screech, I will not pay you 50 dollars to see that.
With this new sex tape, that whole selling t-shirts to save his house bullshit, and of course playing, Screech, in Saved By The Bell, Screech has cemented himself as a leading douchebag of his generation.
I don’t know who out there has 50 bucks to spend on watching Screech have sex and give someone a “Dirty Sanchez”, but if you’re thinking of buying it let me implore you to please take a minute and look in the mirror.
You are about to spend 50 bucks on a Screech sex tape. In it, he does something disgusting. It doesn’t have to go down like this though. There is still time.
You know, there’s a lot you can do with 50 dollars. You can buy some porn that doesn’t have Screech in it, giving someone a “Dirty Sanchez”. There are so many worthy porn stars out there- people who have worked hard in to deliver video to you that entertains and entices. People like…well, anyone other than Screech.
Do you want to live in a world where a sex tape of Screech is a money-maker? Don’t we want to send a message to future Screeches who think they can put out a sex tape to make themselves relevant? Do you want to see an Urkel sex tape? All right, clearly the answer is “yes” to that one, so, bad example but do you REALLY want to know if there’s a market out there for this?
Bring that shit on.
And don’t tell me you feel bad for Screech because he has to deal with life after “Saved By The Bell” and “Saved By The Bell: The College Years”. Why is Mark-Paul Glosselaar not asking me buy a tee shirt so he can save his house? Why hasn’t Mario Lopez released a sex tape yet? (And what’s taking him so long!) If it’s so hard to have a career after “Saved By The Bell”, why have Tiffany Amber Thiessen and Jesse Spano (Elizabeth Berkley) been able to carve out careers for themselves that have included roles in the brilliant “Good Morning Miami” and “Showgirls” respectively?
When did we all become Screech’s guardian? Say “no” to Screech giving someone a DS, and say yes, to so much more.