Tuesday, October 31, 2006

What Sucks…Brach’s Candy


These are the fuckers responsible for some of the worst candy on the face of the Earth. As a brand, they have made some of the nastiest candy you’ll ever see, and yes America, they’ve been doing it for years.

Check out their website…Brach's crap

Look at some of the names of the candies that they are selling. I’m amazed this shit qualifies as food. You have these pumpkin things, which are basically reshaped Candy Corn.



…something called a “jelly nougats” (looks like head cheese)


…Circus Peanuts- to which one could ask, are these really meant to be eaten? And can a human digestive system, digest them?


…something that can only be described as “chewy treats”.



And also, this... Which I actually think is called "nasty looking shit".

Oh and Brach's, when Christmas comes around and you dye the color of your candy corn from brown, yellow and orange to green and red, and when Valentine's Day comes and you dye the color of your candy corn from brown, yellow and orange to pink and white, and when D-Day commemoration day comes around and you dye the color of your candy corn to olive-green and red (which I think is in bad taste), know that you are fooling no one, and that everyone knows you are still trying to unload your shitty candy corn.

5 comments:

GorillaSushi said...

Yet grandmas the world over continue to buy it and then save the left overs for years and years...

Anonymous said...

there is such a thing as good candy corn, their's is not good at all and it usually cost more than the good stuff too.

Anonymous said...

GET A LIFE! If you put as much effort towards something productive as you spent preparing that tirade about a candy company, you would probably be doing real well. By the way, that candy company has been around for well over a hundred years, compared to your 10 or 12 years on this planet, I think I'll put my money on Brach's.

Chris DeLuca said...

you think I'm 10 or 12 years old? YOU get a life!

Malkovich said...

Just spent two bucks on Brach's peanut chocolate cluster at Fred Meyer, they do taste bad. Will avoid their product in the future.