Thursday, October 26, 2006

What Sucks...Airplane Bathrooms


Going to the bathroom on a plane- the worse experience of your life? Pretty close, right? Did you know that a recent survey said the only place more stressful to "go" in, is Baghdad.

If ever there was something which sucked thoroughly, I mean from beginning to end, it might be the experience of going into a bathroom on an plane. First of all, there's so much bacteria there, you can basically see it with the naked eye. Public toilet seats are disgusting in stationary bathrooms- by the time you’re in an airplane, traveling at 400 MPH, with any turbulence at all, let's face it, everyone using it is shooting at best, 60 percent.

Plus, they’re tiny. Are we contortionists? I heard once that 2/3 of all men who attempt to sit on an airplane toilet end up blowing themselves.

The sink is the worst in the world. We have to be able to do better here- don’t tell me we lack the technology- we’re flying for Christ sakes. Why is the plunger constantly down? Are we supposed to be using that water?

And the door. A bending door that also activates the light only gives you the feeling that you are in a refrigerator, where you are allowed to shit.

The announcement that you shouldn’t tamper with the smoke detector there is also bothersome. What, are people going into the airplane lavatory with an old novel, dismantling the smoke detector and lighting up a pipe? I'm sickened by the stories of people who join the mile high club in there- who can remain sexually aroused with that smell surrounding you? Besides Germans.


Yes, vacant of hope of not experiencing something awful.

5 comments:

bike posse said...

the only time i begin thinking about lighting up in a plane is after seeing that goddamn no smoking sign.
what is this 1982? we can't smoke anywhere anymore. enough with the reminders already Bombardier.

Variant E said...

Could be worse, you could be experiencing the same thing on a Greyhound bus. Only because it takes so long on the bus you get to experience it many more times!

John Flowers said...

No. the worst bathroom experience in my life was in a hotel lobby bathroom in chendu in china. the lock went bust while i was in there and the idea of yelling for help, embarrassing enough as is, was moot, as i couldn't do it in mandarin.

30 min. later, i was out, having fixed the lock myself.

Anonymous said...

I USED TO FLY ALL OVER THE PLACE BUT WHEN THEY PUT THE ANTI SMOKEING NAZI RULES IN EFFECT THEY LOST MY MONEY FOR EVER STUPID PEOPLE THERE IS NO FACTUAL PROOF 2ND HAND SMOKE HAS EVER HURT ANYONE

rawi-warin said...

This is one reason why I always try to make it to the next airport without having to use the airplane bathroom. It is just an unpleasant experience every time.